Comments on: Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World ~ Part 4: Acknowledgement & Apologies

By: Lizzie

Lizzie — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:40:54 +0000

Thank-you for this. Thank-you for your openess, and honesty, and willingness to admit how your actions affected your children. This is very healing for me to read. I wish that my mother and I could have these conversations. How do you have this conversation with someone who no longer believes these things, but insists that it was done in love (and I believe that it was), which she seems to think justifies the mistakes that were made?

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 08:44:35 +0000

I’ve honestly never gotten the obsession some hardcore Calvinist-types have with Total Depravity….it’s like they almost glory in it, in a way. Listening to them you’d wonder why hadn’t God dumped the world in the trash if we disgust Him that much.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 08:41:11 +0000

Ex-Q/F moms, this made me cry for you and for your daughters. I can only imagine the pain everyone – mothers and daughters – must have gone through.

I have to admit, every time I hear the statement that allowing children to express defiance will lead them to abandon Christ later, I have to chuckle. People who say that clearly never saw me as a child – I had more pluck in me than 10 boys, and here I am now still a devoted Christian and even a missionary. Personally, I think if Q/F parents really want to go out and change the world like they say, they need to teach their girls spirit and spunk, not sweet submissiveness….in doing so they’re making pretty poorly-crafted arrows!

Finally, last mom, thank you SO MUCH for calling a spade a spade! If the majority of the fruit is that badly rotten, there has GOT to be something wrong with the vine!

By: Headless Unicorn Guy

Headless Unicorn Guy — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 21:28:49 +0000

If I could sum up the message that this book spoke to a young mother who deeply loved her baby, it was this:
“Momma, your baby is a sinner. He/she will try to manipulate you. Things like a child not liking a diaper change and squirming to be free are an example of a sinful will attempting to dominate you…”

The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson?

(That was the rage among Christian Child-rearing books in the late Seventies, and that first two sentences sound straight from the radio shows plugging the book. I also remember one shouting radio preacher of the period who was very much into Utter Depravity — one of his tag lines was “When God looks at a newborn babe, He sees an Utterly Depraved Sinner!”)

By: My Fascination With the Duggars and Quiverful « SCIENCE-BASED PARENTING

My Fascination With the Duggars and Quiverful « SCIENCE-BASED PARENTING — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 02:51:34 +0000

[...] feel now that the stress upon obedience wrought psychological damage upon their children. In an especially moving post, one writer speaks of the intense love she felt for her baby and the gratitude she felt upon [...]

By: Testimonies from No Longer Quivering Moms | Why Not Train A Child?

Testimonies from No Longer Quivering Moms | Why Not Train A Child? — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 22:52:44 +0000

[...] has a new series called Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World. Part 4 of this series is Acknowledgment & Apologies which could be considered testimonies of the damage done by the quiverfull mindset. Part 5: [...]

By: Bethany

Bethany — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 11:09:38 +0000

Thank you for this series. Thank you for your honesty and for the level-headed, personable way you are addressing the people who have declared war on Quivering Daughters. Thank you for having the courage to face your past. Thank you for apologizing to your children; I needed to read this as much as they do.

By: May the Chains of the Sins of the Parents be Broken! « the Hope of His Calling

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:47:13 +0000

[...] 13, 2010 by Charis Some formerly QF Mom’s have compiled their apologies to QF Daughters. I am not sure that any of my daughters or sons would identify with those apologies or not? But it [...]

By: Mara

Mara — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 13:49:58 +0000

Vyckie,
Thank you for this series.
It gets to the heart of the issue.
I so feel for the hearts of these mothers that have been preyed upon by those out to make a buck with their ‘snake oil’ quick fixes in a book.
And I feel for the broken hearts of the daughters.
May healing come to both mothers and daughters through this.

By: Xtine

Xtine — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 05:26:13 +0000

It’s wonderful that you have apologized in person – and that you can share these apologies here. Thank you for sharing your stories!
So much parenting can be misguided, out of love – and so often parents are misguided by those more powerful than they. Children are resilient. We grow into ourselves. It takes time and work, but we learn to understand the love and fears of our parents. This helps in the understanding. Thank you again. Your courage shines through.