Comments on: But They Look So Happy!

By: The Bates family, Duggar BFFs, welcome their 19th child with a realiy show | Celebrity Mess

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:00:27 +0000

[...] to put your kids on TV.) At least for these two semi-famous families, the Bates and The Duggars, it seems to be working out for them. Some mothers who have escaped these type of extreme childbirth situations say it’s [...]

By: RJ

RJ — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:24:08 +0000

They look happy because they are. I know because I am the oldest of 8. First off let me say that my family isn’t your typical homeschooling family. I’m the oldest of 8 and my parents work as a TEAM. We all do. We live in rural IL on a farm and have multiple home business’s and we all work together. My dad works and my mom stays home and homeschool’s us and EVERYONE even the youngest kids have chores. My mom doesn’t do everything and neither do I.

I’ve been homeschooled my entire life and can I just say that I wouldn’t have anything different? I don’t know why people are so anti-homeschooling.

I’m a Christian by my own choosing. Not my parents. They let me make that choice. And I’m so glad that I did.

My parents don’t keep my locked in the basement. While I dress modestly I do wear jeans. In fact I’m in pants 95% of the time.

I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m CHOOSING not to have one. I don’t know any guys that I want to date anyways. I get hit on all the time by guys and I ignore them because I don’t want someone who just wants me for my body. That’s not what I want at all. I’m looking for a gentlemen.

I’m planning on finishing up high school, taking some college courses, and then becoming a photographer. And guess what? My parents are behind me 100%!!!!!! They don’t force me to stay at home and make candles.

Anyhow, that’s my take. No, my parents didn’t tell me to write this comment, I wrote it on my own.
~RJ

By: Annie

Annie — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 02:14:39 +0000

How can any of the Duggars be happy if they have nothing else to compare it to? And when Michelle Duggar hits menopause, she will need something a lot stronger than Jim Bob’s support to make it through hot flashes in Arkansas while wearing a denim jumper and sporting about 18 inches of hot, long, wavy hair. Seriously, it’s miserable.

By: Katrina

Katrina — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 16:49:10 +0000

I agree with what Richalle said. While I was not raised in this teaching, there are groups in any religion or teaching that take it to the extreme. After reading the Duggar’s book and watching the show, I really don’t believe that they follow these teachings to the extreme. Like I said in a previous comment, they have girls who want to do something other than just be housewives, and they are fine with that. I’ve seen the boys help with cleaning and laundry too… they all have chores, not just the girls. I still think they are a great family, and I do think they are happy. Just because you live with certain rules in your life doesn’t mean you are restricted and unhappy. I am a christian, and there are a lot of things I choose not to do, but that doesn’t make me unhappy…. quite the opposite in fact.

By: Katrina

Katrina — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 16:39:30 +0000

The Duggars have two girls who are volunteer firefighters, and another who wants to be a nurse that I know of. They support education and don’t encourage only homemaking skills.
I have never seen them shy away from talking about people of other faiths as well. They don’t live in their own bubble like some other families that take their faith to the extreme.

By: Ona

Ona — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 21:19:05 +0000

Of course they look happy, they have no choice because anything else is unacceptable, that is my gut reaction as well. Even today at the ripe age of 40, the parents who raised me find any criticism of their parenting “techniques” aka spanking and shame or alternate lifestyle choices on my part aka not being a fundamentalist christian as rebelliousness. Imagine if you will the effect that has on a child who is 6, or 9, or 15, who is grossly outnumbered and needs– for the sake of their personal development– to be able to trust that their parents will say the truth and do what is right for them.

By: Lady Lelouch

Lady Lelouch — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 04:11:32 +0000

Why do people have such a problem with that book? Because it teaches people that it’s okay to beat your child with piping.

By: AMP

AMP — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 04:34:55 +0000

You know what rights trump those of religion? The rights which involve protecting children from abuse, regardless of whether or not they are recipients of welfare. Methods like what TTUAC advocate make children *more* susceptible to being victimized and going down these same roads. You want to protect the world from child molesters and druggies? Then start by protecting children from violence in the home!

By: susan

susan — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 21:50:43 +0000

Interesting, I work with children and I never really think of “obedience” at all. In fact, most people with kids I know, though they do want their children to be things like considerate, polite, or kind. Obedient is very different. The notion of being “considerate or polite” is to cultivate a habit of spontaneous behavior towards others. It’s internally motived.

A parent who stresses “obedience” is going to raise their children in a very different way, one where there is a right or wrong way to do everything. Plenty of people I know have kids who are reasonably well-behaved. Their houses aren’t totally orderly, but neither is mine. If you want to make 100 rules for kids to follow and insist they do it, I just see that as a tremendous waste.

I think the focus on “obedience” kills spontaneity. I am happy my parents let me grow up doing things my own way unless there was an actual issue of real harm. It taught me to make my own decisions and taught me to be tolerant of people who were different from me, since I was allowed to “deviate” from family routine (or are family routine permitted a degree of autonomy from everybody.)

As for skills, I have no doubt that families like the Duggar’s have plenty of “little home on the prairie” type self-reliance skills, but how well informed are they of people who aren’t like them? I’m sure they read but how informed are they on world literature? Do they know trends in this history of ideas, or only ones that passed the censors? Do the Duggar kids know about people of other religious faiths, do they know what those people believe and why?

Girls from families like this get severely stunted educations, as they are discouraged from learning anything but homemaking skills. Not that those aren’t important beyond a certain point you get diminishing returns. To me, making your own bread is a fun novelty activity, not something you do every day.

By: Kevin Carson

Kevin Carson — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:05:15 +0000

That whole “be a cheerful Stepford Wife or I’ll take a belt to you” thing sounds a lot like the Fish! Philosophy and Studer Group scripting where I work. Of course we’ve got an HR director whose voicemail says “Have a blessed day” (typing one-handed with a finger down my throat), so go figure.