Comments on: How Modesty Made Me Fat

By: Madamoyzelle

Madamoyzelle — Fri, 04 May 2012 23:20:48 +0000

Yeah, Shea Joy. Say it, sister!

In the Catholic church, there are women who became martyrs because the refused to have sex with some man.

In fact, there was a story told about a young woman in the 20th century who refused to give in to a rapist, and therefore she was murdered.

This was taught to girls as a good thing.

I have only recently come to realize how horrifying that teaching is. It also occurred to me–where are all the male saints who were martyrs for virginity?

Why do I think priest would die laughing about that?

For Catholic men in prison–are they taught that giving in to rape is a mortal sin for which they will go to hell? If not, why not?

And why is religion so sex-drenched?

By: Amy Ruth Blue

Amy Ruth Blue — Fri, 04 May 2012 12:22:21 +0000

I agree. I’m not afraid or men, or women. I have breasts and hips and an a**. ALL WOMEN DO. If I appear attractive to someone, yay; I have NO problem with that.

By: Bill

Bill — Fri, 04 May 2012 11:02:19 +0000

the problem i see is so many women on this board still hold onto silly variations of the religion. religion is slavery and it demands these women defend it one way or another rather than accept reality. It’s so sad that rather than accept reality so many just find another brand of the slavery to hold.

By: Bill Mayes

Bill Mayes — Fri, 04 May 2012 10:56:38 +0000

modesty is not a virtue. it is merely another way to keep women from experiencing life and accepting demeaning ‘values’ as good. stay hidden or break out. those are the two choices. modesty is the means some men use to keep women feeling like property and the excuse some women use to never step out and experience life.

By: Erin

Erin — Fri, 04 May 2012 06:18:42 +0000

I have big boobs and parents/religion who preached against not making them overt. I developed a slouch to make them less prominent. Years later, the slouch has been nearly impossible to get rid of. I have awful posture and probably always will. Thanks, “modesty.”

By: Shea Joy

Shea Joy — Fri, 04 May 2012 04:13:31 +0000

I’m sickened by the comments of the women who just aren’t getting it. DROP THE WORD MODEST FROM YOUR VOCABULARY. This is not a word applied to men; the concept is inherently oppressive. All this about what you do or don’t wear is just disgusting. Seriously, I could just throw up. Wear what you like, be comfortable, don’t judge others, and move on to something much more important. Be a good person with a big heart. You are responsible for your own behavior and so is everyone else.

By: SavedSista777

SavedSista777 — Fri, 04 May 2012 03:34:19 +0000

I see where you’re coming from Ms.Siera, and i understand why you did the things you did, but i can’t help but feel that you weren’t being modest for God, but was modest for men (to please your family in particular). Yes the bible does say that we aren’t to be stumbling blocks, but the bible doesn’t say that we aren’t to still appear feminine. In fact the bible wants us to appear feminine, which is why it says that a man shouldn’t dress as a woman, and a woman shouldn’t dress like a man.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a distinguishable figure, just as long as every single curve isn’t enhanced and exaggerated by what you are wearing.Most rules for modesty differ from person to person, due to body shapes and sizes, and you shouldn’t have been ashamed of your body. God created you beautiful so that you could please the mate he created for you, if it is his will that you mate.
I am very happy that you aren’t starving yourself anymore…but remember to ALWAYS honor God(in ALL that you do emotionally, mentally, and physically). I am earnestly praying that the Lord speaks to your heart and lets you know what is acceptable dress and what’s not. Pray about it, and be modest out of your love for God.
~be blessed! (prayin-4-U)

By: AR

AR — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 09:12:22 +0000

Interesting and well written.
I would like to add that women are also continually faced with the need to appear attractive to men. It need not just be about hiding from men – but also being skinny in a desirable sort of way

By: amberson

amberson — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:30:53 +0000

So, I really resonated with your story as well. Before I went to college (and a little during college, and some since) I have struggled with eating disorders and I have a background that emphasizes modesty. I think that you have every right to have those feelings, especially because many people emphazise modesty as a “rule” rather than something that is respectful. I think dressing modestly is something that maintains being who you are, while not drawing attention to what you look like. What happened was probably at a young age for you, it got perverted in your mind (and by perverted I simply mean that it morphed into a whole new meaning that was not the original intent). Because of this metamorphosis of meaning in you, “modesty” became your obsession, your nemesis, and your way to have a form of control. For me, my need for control came from a similar place, I needed to maintain my “good girl” appearance, which included always being someone others looked to for anything, an example of modest living, as well as someone who had her life on track. The pressure I then turned on myself- not because anyone was making me- cause me to turn to an eating issue… I thought if I was sly enough to get away with that, then I could fool the world into thinking I was practically perfect.

The thing is, we all pervert something we are taught as children, that is how we function, and then we have struggles, and we face up to our fears and come out having grown and learned. The problem is not teaching “modesty”, but rather HOW we teach it.

By: madame

madame — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:14:35 +0000

Sorry, Lauren, my reply was to Paula!