Charlie Richards ~ the creator of the Christian video series, “Life at the Pond” ~ recently shared on his blog about his experience of working with the Duggar kids ~ particularly the three oldest girls, Jill, Jessa & Jinger, whom he describes as, “ sharp, fun and informed.”
They know what’s going on out there. But it isn’t at all a part of their every day life. And, to the shock and dismay of so many, they’re okay with that.
While, admittedly, I admire the Duggars for much of what they do, I didn’t expect what I saw in these three girls. The world has yet to beat them into submission. They don’t watch the Disney Channel, so they’ve yet to learn that adults are buffoons and parents are embarrassing. They don’t listen to the local rock station, so they’ve yet do discover life is supposed to be one promiscuous event followed by another. They don’t attend public school, so they’ve yet to learn teenage girls are required to be filled with angst and riddled with insecurities.
As we spoke to the three of them, one word kept jumping out at me: Freedom. These girls were experiencing freedom teenagers rarely taste. Completely free to be themselves. The exact opposite of the words so often used by media folk to describe the 19 kids.
While many times teenagers can’t wait to get away from adults, these three were anxious to engage in conversation. And they were delightful. All of the Duggars were.
Wow ~ this takes me back to my Quiverfull days! Watching the Duggars & other “big, happy families” ~ catching that VISION ~ the appeal is just.so.darn.strong!!
Richards’ praise of the Duggars and his insistence that the older girls are “experiencing freedom” brought to mind Jill Cozzi’s poignant summary of the QF/P “freedom”: The problem with Quiverfull isn’t in its advocacy of large families, it’s in its view of women, and in questions about just how much “free will” is involved with women who become embroiled in its clutches.
Viewers of the earliest Duggar TLC Specials [14 Children and Pregnant Again, 16 Kids and Moving In, etc] know that the Duggars have not always lived in a 7,000 square foot debt-free dream house.
In fact, like many of today’s Quiverfull families, they lived very humbly for many years saving for that dream home. A 900 square foot home behind a used car lot on a busy highway is not an average Mother of 5 little children’s dream home! Yet Michelle put up with these cramped quarters—often hiding out in the bedroom with all the kids while Jim-Bob closed a car sale. Like many savvy real estate investors they “moved up” to a “fixer upper”—a repossessed, all brick ranch home that was much bigger. They did the renovation work themselves, learning along the way, in order to make it affordable. They did their furniture and décor shopping at auctions, yard sales and thrift stores. When Michelle said on TV that they “worked really hard” so they could “relax” today she was telling only part of the story. The rest of it is not taking out a mortgage or any other debt to buy that bigger home.
But while the Duggars, on their 20 acres, with their 2000 square foot boys and girls bedrooms and indoor climbing wall represent the zenith of Quiverfull life, we need to look at how an “average” Quiverfull family lives to truly get the “whole” picture of life in this movement.
Let’s look at how other Quiverfull families provide life’s basic necessities for their large families. But first, a brief mention of the Frugal Life from way back—like in the 1980s. Frugal Living Guru, Amy Dacyczyn’s, Tightwad Gazette newsletter has been collected into a commonly appreciated source book—available in both one and three volume additions. These are revered by “Tightwads” of all political and religious persuasions. These are very often mentioned in blogs with families either voluntarily reducing consumption or who are struggling to survive – the type of family Hillary McFarland writes of in her new book Quivering Daughters:
“Until you have knelt for hours in a field like my mommy, scrubbing thousands of cloth diapers by hand….till you cry with guilt when someone buys you something new and you try to take it back to the store because you could use that money to buy groceries or pay a bill…till you school your children all day, bake twenty loaves of bread by hand….”(p. 30)
In many rural areas, such as my current and former counties in two different Midwest states, it is not unusual to see a well-used van dispensing a river of children in very odd clothing and a haggard mother—often entering the public library for more school books or to make use of free Internet. You’ll also see them selling produce at road side stands or at the pay-by-the-pound recycling centers, the clearance racks and ½ price day at the local thrift shops. The struggle is etched on their faces.
From the anecdotal evidence posted in the forums here at NLQ and elsewhere, these families exist everywhere—and far outnumber the oft-profiled Royal Families of Quiverfull such as the Duggars. They cobble together mobile homes, sell e-books of well-worn recipes, they market quilts, cloth diapers, goat milk soap, homemade lotions and herbal remedies. They glean aluminum cans from the roadside and change from the sidewalks. They birth babies alone or with an under-the-radar unlicensed midwife. They treat illness with what they can afford and trust—which rarely includes a doctor. Many times, like Gil and Kelly Bates, they qualify for federal assistance such as WIC or state children’s health insurance, but won’t take it. Let’s take a look at THESE Quiverfull families and see, truly, how the greater portion of Quiverfull families live.
Shelter
At her now defunct blog, Under $1000, blogger Emily describes and illustrates with photos her family’s extremely small living quarters in a rental apartment. Certainly, conditions like this are not unusual among families of college or graduate students. [Her husband was in seminary.] In most cases they are temporary and become part of family folklore in later years. What makes Emily’s family different is that Emily publically discussed her plans for even SMALLER living quarters as their family grew LARGER! She had no problem with her children sleeping on blankets on the floor if necessary.
Most American parents would find this at least odd if not almost abusive. [Although, as we will see a little later on, this style of living is endorsed by one of the top Quiverfull evangelists.] She was frugal to such an extreme that she routinely used only a crock-pot to cook in order to save money on the electric bill. She kept tubs of children’s clothing stacked in her apartment so she did not need to shop for the next size. Aside from this ridiculous mini-washer, she washed clothes, bedding, diapers, in a plastic storage tub in a shower stall, rather than going to a laundry mat. Many of her money-saving ideas were not quite mainstream (an odd diet of fermented drinks and crock-pot cream cheese, for example).
Build It Yourself vs Shack Living
The Duggars are hardly the first family to ever build their own home with their own hands. Possibly they’ve built the most extreme house though. Many families have built their homes as they can afford it. In Quiverfull families this is not at all uncommon. Quiverfull “Royalty” such as Steve Maxwell and his sons have built two houses and remodeled a third.
On their blog, the Brow family of Vermont has detailed how, while squeezing into a small mobile home, they are building their own home debt-free. The Seargeant family of Plymouth Rock Ranch, spent a considerable time living in a tent while building their cabin. In Alaska the Wilkinson family details the building of their home on their blog as well.
Certainly, build it yourself, is not merely for Quiverfull families. America’s first prominent homeschooling family [who were VERY secular!!!] the Cofax family sent a son to Harvard after he helped clear the land, build the house and establish a functioning homestead and after he published several articles in goat breeding journals!
And, let’s not forget that the poster family of what can go wrong in Quiverfull life, the Yates family. Not long before the horror of Andrea drowning their children in the bathtub, Rusty had moved the family out of the RV they had been living in and into a modest ranch house. The strain of living with all her children in such tight quarters was too much for Andrea and her post-partum depression reached a danger zone. Sadly, it was too little, too late.
Utilities can be a staggering expense—although two that are often helped by rural living are heating and water. While many families with well water have to use a water softener or water purifying system, some families simply cannot afford these options. The beauty of a well is no water company to pay. This can be a substantial savings. Heat, (especially in the more northern states) can be very, very expensive. Home heating oil, propane, or electric heat is high enough in an area with efficient delivery networks. In rural areas served by Rural Electric Co-ops or in which heating oil or propane deliveries have to add mileage surcharges it can be extremely expensive. Many rural families, even those with a decent standard of living (like the Duggars) choose to heat with wood. Selling firewood supplements many family incomes as well. Finally trash removal is a huge expense in rural areas. Fewer customers per mile, greater distances to dumping sites and landfills, makes regular trash collection out of reach for many people. Rural families are often ahead of the curve on trash—growing food, composting, recycling all help with trash expenses. A once or twice a year trip to the dump, trash burning or burying, often takes care of the rest.
Quiverfull families in rural areas often live in substandard housing or with other primitive conditions like no indoor plumbing or even no running water. Perhaps the most extreme example of staying debt-free while building a home comes from one of the most Royal of Quiverfull “Royal Families”—the Campbells. While Colin and Nancy run the Above Rubies empire from a beautiful custom-built home, daughter Serene and her family have lived for years in conditions familiar to only the poorest of 3rd world nations.
Quiverfull matriarch Nancy Campbell has often written about her daughter, Serene’s family and their struggle to complete the building of their home. In spite of coming from a very well-off family who brought the Christian music superstars the NEWSBOYS to America, Serene and her large family live in a “shell” of a house with no running water. Even though they live in a “family compound” with other members of their own family, Serene and her children must haul 5 gallon buckets of water from a nearby stream for their daily use. Recently flooding made the lower level of the home unlivable. Rather than move out, conduct mold abatement and other necessary repairs, the family simply moved upstairs. Nancy called this situation “hilarious.” Most Americans would call it child neglect or even child abuse.
Serene helps support her family by hosting women’s retreats, recording and selling cds and promoting her own views of “good health.” Heath “advice” from a woman who apparently does not consider a smoke filled, mold-infested home to be a health hazard for herself and her children. Like Serene, Emily at Under $1000 a Month [above], kept her MAINE apartment so cold in the winter that one reader compared it to an old-time city tenement—a breeding ground for TB. Serene also had no problem ignoring other comforts for her children. For years they slept “like puppies” on the floor on blankets—surely the inspiration of Emily’s planned future sleeping arrangements for her own children!
Food
The Duggars’ shopping trips to Aldis focus on bulk buying of frozen burritos by the case, trays of frozen lasagna, jars of spaghetti sauce and boxes of so-called Macaroni and Cheese. Many other Quiverfull families eat more God-made than man-made food.
There are excellent examples of God’s bounty, lovingly coaxed from the ground by busy moms and toddlers, teenagers and even over-worked Quiverfull Dads. (Although not stated as Quiverfull, the family profiled in these posts exemplify a healthy, yet minimal income family). Gardening, canning, freezing, jam-making, soap making, quilting are all frequently found on Quiverfull Mom-blogs and homemaking sites. More than one family has a cottage industry producing ebooks or even dvds on how to do these money-saving tasks (soap making, bread baking, or Serene making sourdough). In fact, the West family even had their homemaking videos produced by Franklin Springs Media.
Gardening and food preservation is another area the Duggars strangely ignore. The garden they showed in one episode [“17 Kids and Counting: Cheaper by the Duggars”] was barely more than most people can grown in a tiny subdivision lot—and yet the Duggars have 20 acres! (NOTE: Likely a substantial garden would be too hard to keep up with while they are touring and filming, much of which takes place in the summer garden-season.)
While cheap, frozen ground turkey, a Duggar staple, is frequently found in many, many homes today, other Quiverfull families raise chickens for eggs and meat, goats for milk and or meat and even pigs and steer for meat. Poultry keeping has even become trendy in some suburbs! Other families rely on deer, elk or moose season to provide the bulk of their meat. Steve Castleberry gives a humorous discussion of learning to butcher his first steer in his book, Our Homestead Story: The First Years.
Many Quiverfull families find it a good use of their scarce food budget to buy an electric grain mill and bulk buy wheat that they then grind fresh into flour and hand bake the family’s bread. No one can argue with the nutritional boost over gluey American white bread, but the process does take a toll on the wives and daughters who must labor thru the grinding, mixing, kneading baking cycle every few days. In fact, Bill Gothard teaches his followers [who include the Duggars] that white bread is “evil” and that bread must be made by hand—no mixer! [Veinot, p. 299]. A bucket of good red wheat does not come cheaply, either (about $65 a bucket). Nor does a good mixer—for those who don’t follow Mr. Gothard’s health advice and see the kneading as something a machine can adequately handle, a Bosch universal mixer costs up to $400.00, but is the holy grail of convenience for Quiverfull moms who see bread making as part of their calling. A “Wonder Mill” for grinding wheat can set a family back more than $200.00. A Berkey water filter another $200.
Homeschool
Very few Quiverfull families could afford to buy brand new curricula for each student in each subject every year. Many could not even afford to buy the very reasonably priced and thoroughly excellent [if not terribly exciting!] Rod & Staff curriculum so beloved of the Maxwell family. Nor can many otherwise like-minded families afford the up-to- $600+ a year just to belong to Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute and be “encouraged” by the likes of the Duggars and Bates. Many families cannot afford or cannot justify the expense to attend a pricey homeschool convention—all of these are, for the most part, marketed to the solidly middle-class family with disposable income [although there are families who diligently save and sacrifice to get to one]. A burgeoning legion of web sites has sprung up linking to free or extremely low cost homeschooling materials—many of which are excellent others less so.
Since so many Vision Forum-influenced Quiverfull families are reluctant to expose their children to the literature of the 20th, let alone the 21st Century, most of the books linked to by these sites are in the public domain [i.e. no longer protected by copyright laws]. Many of these are standard classics that are often even assigned in public schools [example: Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol or Great Expectations]. Several Quiverfull families produce and sell homeschool resources as well. [The Learning Parent or Eagles Wing Ed or Heart of Wisdom.]
While I could not find any poof of this, I suspect with the growing number of states who have free online Charter Schools, some Quiverfull families may take advantage of this at least for higher math classes. In my state, this results in the family having a free computer and high-speed internet access.
College or advanced vocational training—when allowed in such families—is often done on the cheap in a way savvy students have been doing since the 70s: using CLEP tests to earn college credit. By combining this with “safe” at-home online classes, some Quiverfull sons, and a rare few daughters, can achieve a college degree or technical certificate.
Medical Care
Medical care in the United States is a nightmare for self-employed and working poor families of any worldview. Quiverfull families, oddly, often join the New Age in rejoicing in “natural” or “herbal” medications. Old home remedies are also often in favor:
It burned, dripping down my back, scathing tender flesh. The stench crept through my nostrils and landed on my tongue. My eyes watered. “Hold still,” Mom ordered, one hand rooted in my scalp and the other poised above my head…”It will kill the lice,” Mom said, swishing my hair in kerosene. I lay in it [in the tub] drenched, my body on fire…..I know her hands burned, too.
Grandma Millie, our neighbor, said it worked because that’s what they did in the old days. We wanted to live like they did back then, because that’s when life was simple….living frugally and biblically, which meant not relying on the conveniences of modern culture, but welcoming hardship—“For in the sweat of your face you shall eat bread”(Gen. 3:19) (McFarland, Quivering Daughters, p. 1).
The biggest cost for most families is child birth. While there is a cooperative program such families may choose to join that provides a limited solution to the health insurance problem, the solution for many, many families is simply home birth.
While Anna Duggar had a perfectly normal home birth, she had received state-of-the-art prenatal care, had attended a standard childbirth education class with her husband and “just happened” to have on-hand both an experienced childbirth educator/doula and her very experienced mother-in-law. For many families none of this is an option. Mistrust of medical science in general—and of obstetricians specifically, refusal to accept government assistance, extreme rural living, combined with a poverty-level income makes homebirth the only possibility for many mothers.
In her book, The Way Home, Mary Pride called for women who die in childbirth to be regarded as martyrs. Sadly, with more money or even simply a greater ability to reason and trust, some of these mothers could have stayed to raise their many children.
Elder care is beyond the means of many, many families today. Unlike other families who choose a Medicare/Medicaid funded nursing home or other solution, Quiverfull families often, commendably, care for their elderly at home. It’s not only the Duggars who have given end-of-life care in their homes to parents or grandparents (Duggars, p. p. 219-220 and “18 Kids and Counting: Duggars Say Goodbye) but most such families do not enjoy the luxury of a full guest suite in their home in which to house the loved one. Nor can most afford a doctor who makes house calls. (See here - scroll down to “Nursing Home”.)
Another area of medical care that is not in the budget, or the mindset, is vaccination. As the Duggars showed recently with 12 children covered in chicken pox spots, (“19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Chicken Out”) vaccines are pretty much seen as an evil. Although most well baby shots can be had from your state’s department of health at regional or county clinics for little or no charge, Quiverfull families tend to steer clear of any form of government assistance. This also means that nursing mothers and their little children who qualify and would benefit would not accept WIC or food stamps. Nor would most families sign their children up for state health insurance. Staying away from the government is a goal.
Clothing and Diapers
The Duggars spend a lot of time promoting thrift store, and more recently, clearance rack shopping for clothes and shoes. Many families of all types nationwide have jumped on the “buy used” bandwagon—if only to survive. Goodwill is chic these days! For families at or below the poverty line yard sales, clearance racks, consignment shops and thrift stores are the main suppliers of clothing, bedding, shoes and other items.
Like the Duggars of old (and the Duggar girls today when desired) many still sew clothing—although sources of cheap fabric are not plentiful anymore—even Wal-Mart has cut back or eliminated yard goods from their sales floor.
Caring for clothing, bedding, towels etc, is another place many families struggle. While the Duggars installed low-water front-loading washers in their 8-machine family laundry room, with 20 acres to work with it would seem that a lot of those khakis and polo shirts—not to mention sheets and towels—could be hung out to dry at a substantial savings. This is another part of either savings or basic survival in many homes. With large numbers of children, possibly no water heater, no electricity, and at best ONE washer, many, many families end up doing a combination of hand washing, machine washing, outdoor drying or indoor rack drying.
One place the Duggars show good planning though is their “family uniform”—developed back in the day of their ranch house. With two washers, and later in a rental house with only one washer, they simplified their laundry by having everyone wear the same color each day—khaki pants for all the boys, same color polo shirt for all the boys and similar dress or jumper for the girls reducing the sorting and number of loads of laundry. All the Duggar boys at that time wore black socks, while the girls wore white socks. [I have not confirmed this, but have been told that matching clothing is promoted by ATI for family unity. Still, it totally makes sense with limited laundry equipment.] With more laundry equipment this rule seems to have been loosened if not completely abandoned. Another money-saving tip the Duggars have adopted—like many other families of all beliefs—is making their own laundry detergent [I have personally been doing this for 4 years—it’s great and so cheap.] (“17 Kids and Counting: Cheaper by the Duggars” and Duggars, p. 173).
In Blogland, many Moms signal their beliefs and desired audience with phrases like “Attachment parenting, breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, homeschool mom.” Or “God-honoring, dresses only, head-covering, wheat grinding, non-vaccinating, cloth-diapering…etc”. Cloth diapers are no less a point in the Quiverfull “Mommy Wars” than elsewhere. While it’s nice that the older Duggar girls and Grandma aren’t stuck washing all little girls’ diapers, it would seem that as cost-conscious as Jim-Bob and Michelle are, that they’d have clambered onto the cloth diapering band wagon about 18 kids ago. Sewing cloth diapers, cloth nursing pads and other similar items is a popular home business for many stay-at home moms at BOTH ends of the political spectrum. While the cost to the environment is hotly debated, the sheer COST of all those packages of disposable diapers for the Duggars has to be mind-boggling.
Finally, some families take washable cotton a few steps further into the bathroom. Cloth sanitary napkins, like diapers, are a popular home business. Like cloth diapers, they come in all styles, prints, and price ranges. Also like diapers they are a “love ‘em or leave ‘em” product. For many families at the poverty level with large numbers of girls they may be the only alternative. Free patterns are available on web sites and blogs just like for cloth diapers [pads] [diapers].
The other reusable feminine product is a rubber cup known as the “Diva Cup.” It’s been mentioned in Tightwad circles for years. It’s inexpensive and re-useable. Since it is an internal device, meant to replace tampons, it may not be considered appropriate in Quiverfull families for unmarried girls.
Many families, like Gil and Kelly Bates [who taught the Duggars this savings] make their own baby wipes using paper towels. Other families do the same, but with re-useable strips of terrycloth or other absorbent cloth. “Recipes” for the soaking liquid are available at many websites and blogs.
And then there is the [ahem] “family cloth.” This is simply washable toilet paper. Small squares of cotton are kept in a basket by the toilet. Used cloth is put in a diaper pail (or similar) with vinegar or bleach and then washed. Used cotton sanitary napkins are done in a similar way as are homemade hemorrhoid cloths with witch hazel.
Additional Money Savers
[Note, this section is added to Hopewell's article by Vyckie ~ as evidenced by the sudden appearance of run-on sentences strung together with lots of tildes. ]
Families which take Quiverfull fundamentalism to the extreme frequently develop even more radical (if it were possible) convictions which can also cut expenses considerably.
No insurance. Many of the QFers I knew (including Laura’s ex-husband, Dale) believe that purchasing insurance is tantamount to putting ones trust in ”man” (insurance companies) rather than God. These families only purchase the minimum insurance which is required by law, such as liability insurance for their vehicles ~ rather than purchasing homeowners insurance (which is not required on their debt-free homes), they are relying on the Lord as their “insurance policy.” Because life insurance is also optional ~ these families trust that God will provide for their orphaned children should He choose to take them home early.
No extra-curricular activities. Followers of Jonathan Lindvall’s teachings regarding “sheltering children,” do not allow their kids to participate in sports, cheerleading, band, etc. ~ this eliminates the expense of uniform and equipment purchases and/or rentals.
No frivilous entertainment. Okay ~ this one is fairly common among Quiverfull families who take the protection of their children from worldly influences very seriously. Most QF families do not own televisions, let alone subscribe to cable programming. Nearly all movies ~ yes, even Disney! ~ are out of the question too.
No toys. According to Nancy Campbell’s daughter, Evangeline, “Things do not make you rich! Children do! Children do not need another toy – they need you! Excess toys create fights, chaos and mess. I hate them!” Although in this article, Evangeline encourages Moms of Many to get rid of “excess toys,” a later Above Rubies article (which I’m not finding online), details how she got rid of all the children’s toys, insisting instead that the children “play” with real babies rather than plastic dolls, or make their own play things (sticks for guns, etc.) rather than buying over-priced “stuff” from the toy department which takes up space in their already-overcrowded home.
Debt-Free – A Recipe for Neglect & Burn-Out
Vyckie Garrison of No Longer Quivering has often stated that the ultra-demanding Quiverfull lifestyle is a recipe for neglect and burn-out. NLQ readers have asked, both on the website and on the forum, how realistically are the Duggar family and other “Quiverfull Royalty” portraying this debt-free ideal? The high standards of striving to live debt-free, keeping Mom (and often, Dad, too) at home, tithing 10% – 15% of their income, and eschewing government assistance do not offer a promising financial outlook for Quiverfull families who are actively welcoming an abundance of children in today’s economy.
While this combination of principles may seem especially godly and makes for a popular “reality” TV show, such utopian idealism more often adds up to a stark and impoverished Quiverfull reality.
Before TLC and their reality TV show offer came on the scene, Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar were already on their way to financial security—a situation not normally found in homes with no college-educated adult. But, like the people profiled in the book the Millionaire Next Door, Jim-Bob and Michelle have always lived BELOW their means and have always had common sense about purchases.
They also share a vision for the type of family life they wanted to lead. While Jim-Bob did hold a job, and a mortgage, at the time they married he soon realized this was not a sensible way to live. His love of buying cars, fixing them up himself, and reselling them for a profit was the first step to a secure future. Although he acknowledges that the used car business is not looked on with much respect, he decided to set up a car lot and run it in a Christian manner. Soon he was making enough off used cars to quit his day job. Eventually, they rented out the mortgaged house and moved into a tiny house on the car lot to increase their income. Along the way, he made a few good decisions [and a few bad ones]. (Duggar, chapters 1 & 2 and “17 Kids and Counting: Cheaper by the Duggars”).
One good decision was to buy a tow truck. While the first model he bought wasn’t worth the money, unlike many college-grads he knew enough about cars and other equipment to buy the towing equipment and winch off another tow truck, hold on to it, save up for a truck to put it on and eventually he had an excellent tow truck and no loan. The towing business grew fast and he had to hire help. Finally the collateral supplied by the car lot inventory, a bent for strong and creative negotiations and the savings from their income allowed the Duggars to enter the true source of their security: REAL ESTATE. (Duggar, chapters 2 & 3).
Jim-Bob’s parents were in real estate and soon Jim-Bob and Michelle also got realtors licenses. Jim-Bob discovered he had an eye for investment properties and the stomach for deal making. After saving up $65,000 to pay cash for the home they would still be living in when they filmed their first TV special, the Duggars went on to make several profitable real estate deals. One deal, which cost about the same amount as the house, netted them a profit of nearly $200,000 after Jim-Bob put in a few hours on a backhoe clearing the site. They also bought a 20-acre parcel of land with an old chicken hatchery on it. They converted the building into commercial rental space and used part of the land for their dream home. The rent collected from the rental properties was their main income for several years. In their show (“17 Kids and Counting: Cheaper by the Duggars”) he shows viewers the property he owns and leases to a cell phone company for their transmission tower. In addition to the real estate deals, Jim-Bob often buys and sells other items. While building their home, he acquired and resold a bucket-lift truck and a scissor-lift among other equipment (Duggars 20 and Counting and elsewhere).
Jim-Bob figured out how to efficiently provide for his family by being observant, staying debt-free and having assets that could be quickly liquefied to provide cash for new ventures and by using all his negotiating skills to get great deals when he did buy big ticket items. Without a high-paying white collar profession, Jim-Bob would have been routinely away from his family for 80 or more hours a week to try to earn the income they needed. Instead, he found a way to provide a level of income for the family God would send him and still be at home to help with that family as much as possible.
Along the way, Jim-Bob met with a group of business men who introduced him to the Jim Sammons Financial Freedom Seminars. This taught a Biblical perspective on managing family finances and stressed the debt-free mantra. Jim-Bob would later host such seminars in his own home and would promote Sammon’s message on their TV show (“18 Kids and Counting: Big Family in Big Sandy” see also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTrVjoAh20g).
Another way the Duggars have always provided for their family is thru their motto of “buy used and save the difference.” Jim-Bob grew up in a family known for economic hardship. While his parents were both excellent salespeople, his father simply could not manage money. In fact Jim-Bob remembers his Mom cooking rice that had been in a decorative jar for years because it was all the food left in the house! (Duggar, p. 11). Frugal living and a very tight budget were natural to Jim-Bob. Michelle, however, had grown up with much more financial security and disposable income. She had to work hard to overcome the “ick” factor involved in buying and wearing used clothing! Today the Duggar’s are probably the world’s best known thrift-store shoppers—and for years bought nearly all clothing not only at thrift stores, but on 50% off days.
The Duggars also use their sales skills in reverse—negotiating a great deal on items they must buy new. For example, Jim-Bob taught viewers how to negotiate for a bus tire (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars in Dixie”), to look for businesses that can haggle on the price (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars on a Deadline”) and always to ask for a discount (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars on a Diet” & (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars in Dixie”).
“Do it yourself” is a way of life to the Duggars. From making their own laundry detergent to cutting and styling their own hair, to cutting their own firewood, to fixing their own cars to hiring skilled people to teach them to build their home, the Duggars never pay to have someone do something they can do themselves. (“18 Kids and Counting: Cheaper by the Duggars,” (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars New Additions,” “16 Kids and Moving In,” Duggar web site, and Duggar, Chapter 8).
In spite of their thrifty ways, in spite of all the “many hands” to make “light work,” the Duggars do not really garden or raise any animals for meat, eggs or milk. Nor have they been seen to hunt and butcher for venison—a common money saver among conservative Midwestern and Southern families. The girls sewed their own clothes for years—and still do so when they want to. They also rely on a lot of convenience foods—understandable with that many children, but not healthy or economical. Inexplicably, they seem to ignore the great deal they got on a commercial dishwasher—preferring to waste money on an endless stream of paper plates, cups and bowls. Again, understandable with the numbers they feed at each meal, but if “many hands” do in fact “make light work” [a favorite Duggar saying] and “buy used and save the difference” is the family rule, then it would seem reusable dishes would be their only choice. Nor have they ever used cloth diapers, which would seem to be a very substantial savings with so many children, but would increase the laundry by a load or two per week.
Often people have commented that TLC “rescued” the Duggar’s from their seemingly never-ending task of building their dream home. While TLC certainly did help out and did force the completion of the project, the Duggars would have finished it eventually and stayed debt-free. While TLC provided a lot of “goodies” like new furniture and a grand piano, the Duggars paid cash for their super-sized commercial kitchen by buying it at an auction when a KMART store closed for a fraction of the retail cost. (Duggar, p. 215). These are not people who would “abandon” a project or give up in any way! Like their friends, the Bates family, they would have lived amid continuing construction. In truth, even with TLC’s help, the family did without air conditioning for a year and without window coverings for longer than that (air conditioning, Duggar, p. 223; window coverings “18 Kids and Counting: Duggars and Dentists”). Throughout the process, they remained debt-free.
What about other Quiverfull Dads?
“Family business” is the ideal for members of Bill Gothard’s ATI/IBLP. Families should be together as much as possible to ensure that fathers play a very prominent role in training their children. The Duggar’s discouraged son John from becoming a pilot because it would mean too much time away from his future family—a powerful illustration of how seriously this is taken. Other Quiverfull dad’s support their families in different ways, but normally with a family business of some sort. We’ll look at some of the Duggar’s friends and a few other Quiverfull fathers to see how they do it.
Gil Bates, a now frequent ATI/IBLP speaker who talks about supporting his 17 children with one income, has tried a number of ways to support his family without holding a regular job. Among those are window washing and lawn care before happening on tree work. (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars’ Big Thaw). Today Gil and his three eldest sons (Zak 21, Lawson 17 and Nathan 16) work together in the family’s tree service company. Along the way Gil was “blessed” when a group of businessmen gave him a bucket truck.[In case you are curious, I could not verify if this was the same bucket truck Jim-Bob Duggar sold a few years back.] While the Bates family are certainly hard working, their income is such that they have publically stated they are eligible for federal assistance but do not accept it.
Clark Wilson and his sons own and run a construction company in Mississippi. The Arndt Family have a court reporting service [Arndt family] and several families are in full-time music ministry living off “love offerings” [and probably investments of some type in many cases] and cd sales (examples: http://www.wissmannfamily.com/GospelBluegrass/Store.html or http://www.southernraisedbluegrass.com/index.html ). Younger Quiverfull adults are finding opportunities with photography, web design and teaching music lessons.
“Family Business” and a love of practical work-related fellowship are among the ties that bind the ATI/IBLP families together. On “ 18/19 Kids and Counting” we’ve seen the Bates show up to help the Duggars clear the trees downed in an ice storm (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars’ Big Thaw”) and we’ve seen Clark Wilson helping with the construction of the Duggar home (“16 Children and Moving In”). Recently we’ve seen the Duggar, Wilson, and Reith families all go to Tennessee to help build the Bates family a new, larger home (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars and Bates Reloaded,” “18 Kids and Counting: Do it Yourself Duggars,” “18 Kids and Counting: Duggars on a Deadline.”) In fact John and Joseph stayed on with the Bates to continue working on the project. We’ve also seen the Wilson family come to help build a basketball court for the Duggars (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars New Additions”).
ATI/IBLP stresses “hospitality,” “fellowship” and “encouragement” of one member family for other families in the group. Huge houses help facilitate a greater level of hospitality. It’s no accident that as soon as the Bates new home addition [well, new home] was “livable,” the Bates were featured on the ATI/IBLP web site. Members have a directory to use to find nearby families when they are traveling. Obviously, it’s nice to have time with like-minded families—for even the Duggars have said their kids need to be with other such families to avoid feeling like the “only ones” who live this way (“18 Kids and Counting: Big Family in Big Sandy”)—but it also serves to keep ATI/IBLP members “in line.” You’d have a hard time hiding a big screen TV or your son’s R-rated posters if a bus full of fellow ATI-ers pulled up for the night on short notice. “Walking the Talk” is a 24/7 requirement.
The Duggars and other Quiverfull families inflate their incomes by using their children as unpaid labor. At very young ages both Josh and John Duggar were helping build the family home, running earth-moving equipment, using power tools and doing all kinds of things that by law normally require being a certain age—unless you are a family member. By not paying for that labor, the costs of a project decreases considerably. Ditto child care. Many Quiverfull Moms help with the family business, such as Anna Duggar who was show on TV making her first used car sale (“18 Kids and Counting: Duggars in the Driver’s Seat”) and her mother-in-law Michelle even towed cars on occasion back in the early days of her marriage! Some wives even run a home-based business on their own—with the husband’s approval of course. Who looks after all those little kids (often a larger number of children and infants than a licensed home day care could have), cooks the meals, does the homeschooling, sews matching dresses, does the laundry, or runs to the grocery store? The live-in unpaid servants: the teenage daughters [and in the Duggar’s case a family friend and Grandma] that’s who.
Sons and Daughters in Business
While Josh Duggar happily graduated from homeschool at 16, it’s doubtful that he was doing much school work by that age. He spent huge amounts of time helping with the house construction, working on political campaigns and taking care of younger siblings. The same is true with John Duggar and now younger brother, Joseph. They finished the state-mandated amount of schooling and were then at work—helping manage rental properties, repairing cars or making home repairs, managing a used car lot, starting a wrecker/towing service (http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/19-kids-and-counting-a-satisfied-customer.html and http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/17-kids-and-counting-webisodes-apprentice-duggars.html) —all to build up enough money and life experience to be able to marry and start a family debt-free. While Josh Duggar and his wife, Anna, are living in a rental home owned by his Grandmother [he may have purchased it— it has not been mentioned], most young men need to own their home and be able to single-handedly support a family in order to marry (Veinot, pp 257-258 and http://www.titus2.com/blog/index.php/page/10/ example). Once married, Quiverfull sons and daughters abide by the rule “leave and cleave” as Michelle Duggar put it. The financial support from Mom and Dad is gone for good.
Other Quiverfull sons may join the family business or may strike out on their own in business at least—if not in actually moving out of the family home, before marriage. Many get their start in Josh Duggar’s case putting up signs for political campaigns. The Maxwell sons have a few businesses and have also built one home, remodeled another and are working on a third as son Christopher prepares to marry.
As we have seen, John Duggar has his own towing business. Christopher Maxwell and two of the Staddon brothers have photography and web design businesses. Training in these careers is offered by ATI/IBLP. Many sons draw on their ALERT Cadet training and give-back to their communities as volunteer firefighters or EMTs. Recently, we were shown John Duggar responding to a fire as well as Zak, Michaela and Nathan Bates helping their local volunteer fire department (“18 Kids and Counting: Designing Duggars” and “19 Kids and Counting: Digesting Duggars”).
Daughters contribute to the family’s income mostly by keeping house and helping with the younger children without being paid. Like their brothers, they may earn a little money by doing odd jobs such as cleaning or babysitting for other families. Many daughters, though, play a role in their family’s business. The Maxwell girls pack orders and man sales booths at homeschooling and other conventions. Maxwell and Castleberry daughters write self-published chapter books for children marketed to like-minded families.
One of the Boyers’ daughters had a cleaning business and markets cds of her convention “talks” and other materials for homeschooling families. Many daughters, such as Erin Bates, teach piano, violin, harp or other music lessons. Training as a music instructor is another offering of ATI/IBLP. One family runs a retreat center for families (and found themselves featured on the successful TV show “World’s Strictist Parents” in which their children play an integral part in running the business and taking care of guests.
Selling the Dream
Steve Maxwell and his family produce and sell a number of specialty products aimed at large homeschooling families . Among these are the Chore Packs and the scheduling system, Managers of Their Homes, that the Duggars have mentioned in their book and on their show (Duggars, pp 118-119; “18 Kids and Counting: School Daze”).
They and many other families are really in MARKETING—selling the “dream” of the ideal Christian, Quiverfull family with Dad firmly in charge as the Patriarch of the family. The Maxwells help with selling the dream by producing a scheduling system and chore-reminder system that helps simplify the life of huge homeschooling families. The Boyers offer not only homeschooling materials—most chosen specifically for like-minded families, they also produce cd-s, flash cards and workbooks to aid in “child training” and scripture memorization. They sell cds of their message that a big family can have peace and that brothers and sisters not only CAN but MUST be each other’s best friends. Finally,another Quiverfull family sells “wholesome wear” swimsuits of the kind worn by the Duggars, that encourage modesty and draw attention to the lady’s countenance in the ATI-approved manner.
While the “dream” is of a blissfully happy family, sheltered from the world by a loving, homeschooling Mother who has endless time for training her children—the reality is often that Mom is a successful speaker, author or businesswoman. While other Moms diligently sew cloth diapers or modest clothing for sale on an Ebay site to help provide for their families or sell homemade goat-milk soap or ebooks on couponing or other small, part-time ebusinesses, top level Quiverfull families are very different. Two such women are among the “Royalty” of the Quiverfull Moms—Nancy Campbell and Jennie Chancey. Few women have devoted themselves to furthering the Quiverfull lifestyle more than these two.
Nancy Campbell, the “Queen Mother” of the Quiverfull Movement, has built a speaking, retreating and writing empire that touches the lives of Quiverfull women on just about every continent (for Quiverfull is not merely an American movement). Her seminal book, Be Fruitful and Multiply, helped make the Quiverfull lifestyle popular. Her magazine, Above Rubies, was “created to:
Encourage and strengthen women in their high calling as wives, mothers and homemakers
To raise the standard of God’s Truth in the nations.
To make the magazine more widely available, subscriptions are free and issues are produced when enough donations have flowed in to cover the printing and shipping costs. Quiverfull wives can write and submit articles, too, detailing how they are blessed by the lifestyle.
Nancy Campbell’s commercial empire includes the sale of books [her own and others that encourage the lifestyle], dvds—such as her “Family Meal Table,” music cds and, of course, recordings of Nancy’s encouraging talks. Nancy also sells her husband’s Bible Study materials and writings and cds by her adult daughters, Serene and Evangeline. Women can also enroll in one of the Above Rubies retreats for encouragement and fellowship. Unlike ATI, however, Nancy Campbell encourages adoption and has produced and sells materials on the blessing of adoption. The Campbells are also behind the hugely successful (and very UN-ATI) Contemporary Christian Music group the Newsboys.
While at Nancy’s stage of life, i.e. an empty-nester, it’s easier to understand how she can be selling the dream and still running her home and caring for her husband [not that NON QF moms don’t do this every day alongside a successful career], less explicable is the empire of Jennie Chancey—a mom with many young children. In addition to her vintage sewing pattern company, begun as a newlywed, Mrs. Chancey co-founded the iconic blog “Ladies Against Feminism.” Mrs Chancey is the author, with another of Quiverfull’s Royalty, Stacey McDonald, of the Christian Best-seller, Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God: Fresh Vision for the Hopeful Homemaker. She was also among the featured speakers in the “The Monstrous Regiment of Women” [LINK] In addition to all of this, Mrs. Chancey makes time to lead tours of Jane Austen’s England! With her husband Matt working full-time as a lawyer and speaker, it does make outsiders question just who is minding all those little children and overseeing their homeschool lesssons.
Another aspect of “Selling the Dream” of the Quiverfull Lifestyle is reaching the teenagers—especially the girls. This is handled by two sisters who have a virtual monopoly on the Quiverfull Daughter Market—Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin. These two specialize in the dream lifestyle of the Stay At Home Daughter. Their book, So Much More, and their dvd, Return of the Daughters, sell an idealized notion of the grown, homeschool-graduate daughter, serving as her father’s trainee helpmeet while waiting for her God-chosen and father approved husband to be presented to her.
This “vision” rarely, if ever, includes college. It can include extensive time working (unpaid) in her father’s business or it may center on doing the homemaking or homeschooling of younger siblings to relieve the Mother. The Botkins focus their vision of the Stay At Home Daughter on serving their father—running his errands, making his life easier in any way possible. Example of the way the Botkins and others in Vision Forum-influenced, Patriarchal families view the father-daughter relationship are the father-daughter purity balls and a frequently cited “fun” activity at father/daughter camping events where the daughters must shave their father’s faces. While totally UnBiblical, this message is finding an enthusiastic reception among Patriarchal, Quiverfull families—among whom the Botkin Sisters are superstar celebrities. If there was a Quiverfull version of People Magazine, the Botkin girls would be among its most frequent cover girls. Given the acknowledged headship of their father, Geoffrey Botkin, it is left for observers of the family to wonder if the girls earnings are given to their father, put into an account to fund dowries or if they even see any of the money they earn.
Among the dirty little secrets of this lifestyle is the economic exploitation of the entire family. While the Duggar’s TV show is the ultimate example of this, all Quiverfull families with a business use the wife and children as unpaid labor. In many cases such a business would just plain fail if hired help was necessary. Children, often too young for a work permit, are pressed into service in family business to cut costs. Wives take on roles in the business while daughters keep the home running and raise and educate the younger children. This part of the “dream’ is not shown in the Botkins books or dvds or in any other source for what it really is: exploitation and child labor. True, non-Quiverfull family businesses often do the same thing, but rarely are there so many children who need care in such families.
Calls to regulate the use of children in reality TV are the tip of the regulatory ice berg. Loopholes in labor laws—covering agricultural workers and family business, need to be closed to protect young children. This is not to say that all help by children in family business is wrong—far from it. It can truly be an outstanding learning experience. But children’s hours should be tightly regulated to ensure they are not overworked and undereducated. Similarly, the daughters’ hours of looking after younger siblings need to be carefully limited. And, children should be fairly compensated for their labor—they are not earning their room and board. While homeschooling, done well, can easily take less time than a public school day, until age 18 the laws are clear that school hours should outnumber work hours.
Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “escape” from the Quiverfull movement.
Over time, NLQ has developed into a valuable resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. Several more former QF adherents are now contributing their stories to NLQ and our collective voice makes these Quiverfull warnings impossible to dismiss or ignore.
NLQ is a gathering place for women escaping and recovering from spiritual abuse.
* NLQ Carnival Grandstand *~ 55 posts in 4 days! Don't miss the incredible articles from the NLQ Carnival Days from a variety of contributors on the dangers of Quiverfull/Patriarchy. These posts are brief ~ quick, but powerful reading!
@NoQuivering but I respect ur blog. I think it's great. Thank u for following me and I am doing the same. I luv different perspectives. - posted on
@NoQuivering I'm not exactly ur target. As far as frugal living. Ok. Frugal living on overdrive probably not. I red soled heels (not cheap) - posted on
@NoQuivering but if u read in my description I also pledged a sorority in college..traveled the world (not on mission but still considering) - posted on
@NoQuivering that's a new one. But I'm not offended. U are sending this to all those folks that fit ur target demographic which is fine. - posted on
@NoQuivering a Christan and there is not enough Christian values in school but as far as shielding them from activities because costs. Wow. - posted on
@NoQuivering as far as hmschool. I do for 2 kiddos and 2 others go to public school. I am thinking about hmschooling them all because I am - posted on
@NoQuivering We have three girls and a boy. I guess we were waiting on boy-the baby - posted on
@NoQuivering and I am a woman of color. I didn't see too many folks of color too in those pics lol - posted on
@NoQuivering interesting blog. Oh yeah...I had tubes tied. I guess that kicks me to the curb in the whole quiver movement. - posted on
@NoQuivering and there are stipulations to the whole "wives submit yourself..." There are some qualifications for the husband. Anyhoo very - posted on
While, admittedly, I admire the Duggars for much of what they do, I didn’t expect what I saw in these three girls. The world has yet to beat them into submission. They don’t watch the Disney Channel, so they’ve yet to learn that adults are buffoons and parents are embarrassing. They don’t listen to the local rock station, so they’ve yet do discover life is supposed to be one promiscuous event followed by another. They don’t attend public school, so they’ve yet to learn teenage girls are required to be filled with angst and riddled with insecurities.
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