Print Friendlyby Tapati Crashing against the wall World spinning crazily Your voice from a distance Screaming in fury Self righteous condemnation Again the blows come They seem to explode inside my head I don’t see your fist in its journey towards my body. In defeat I huddle Arms over my head, shielding in vain Knees drawn up to chest I believe this is the end. Finally you finish Your anger and frustration relieved. Surprised to be alive I remain where I am, in shock. Slowly reason returns. I try to pull myself together Clutching the Full post …
NLQ Stories
Patriarchy Across Cultures: When The Levee Breaks
Print Friendly by Tapati Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good, Now, cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good, When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move. —Led Zeppelin version, original lyrics by Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie. Previously some friends had offered me shelter at their cabin in Big Bear, a mountain community. I said a tearful goodbye to my husband Mike—now known as Mahasraya following our initiation. Their cabin was cute and had an amazing view of the snowy landscape. The main living area contained the Full post …
I’m beginning to understand male privilege ‹(ô¿ô)›
Print Friendlyby Vyckie OMG ~ I am in such horrible pain! I guess part of what’s got me feeling so cranky lately is that the pain which is focused in my hip and radiates over the whole left side of my body ~ from my fingers down to my ankle (oh ~ my elbow!) ~ is back. I used to live with this pain night and day for years and years, but not long after the divorce, when things started settling down for me so that I was no longer chronically stressed, it went away Full post …
It’s Complicated: Why It Wasn’t as Obvious as It Seems Like It Should Have Been
Print Friendlyby Journey One thing I struggle with, as I painfully write some of the facts of my QF Patriarchal Marriage, is that the abuse wasn’t as obvious as you might think. I’d venture to say that 99.9% of the people we were around had no clue. I always get a kick out of how most patriarchy supporters speak up so quickly about how they are “opposed to abuse.” Are they really? Abuse always seems so stark, so obviously abusive, when you *read* about it, but in real life? Generally, not so much. For example, Full post …
Daughter of the Patriarchy: Old-Girl in Young-Girl Disguise
Print Friendlyby Sierra “What did you think?” My mother asked, as our blue Chevrolet rolled smoothly out of the parking lot, mingling with more expensive cars on a fresh-paved freeway. “I liked it,” responded seven-year-old I. “I actually listened.” We were talking about our first visit to Anna and Sven’s church, an informal affair that gathered weekly in the upper annex of a suburban YMCA. The church had begun in the pastor’s living room, hosting only two or three families. Over the next few years it had grown to six or seven. The pastor and Full post …
“Go to Oregon and build an ark”
Print Friendlyby Journey Mark said we were going to move to Oregon. I didn’t want to move to Oregon (I hated the rain), and I told him so, but that didn’t matter. He had heard from God. More specifically, he had heard God tell him to, “Go to Oregon and build an ark.” What that meant, we did not know, but Mark had heard it quite clearly. I wasn’t about to argue with God. The strange thing was that Mark regularly mocked people who “heard from God” about things. He felt that spiritual gifts were generally Full post …
Patriarchy Across Cultures: What It’s Like To Sing The Blues
Print Friendly by Tapati God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes ‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues–Everlast Previously we had just received word that Mike’s mom had passed away. Mike wanted to go to her funeral but we were broke. We called his dad. It turned out he was nearby and he offered to take us to Chicago in his van. John said he felt bad for not being there while his son was growing up and that this was the least he could Full post …
Patriarchy Acoss Cultures: From Generation to Generation
Print Friendlyby Tapati Grandpa Glen and Grandma Velma Tallman My mother sounds like a horrible person as I write about her blocking my efforts to leave home, hitting me, and subsiding into depression and suicide. Of course there remains a stigma associated with mental illness and it’s difficult for most people to find compassion for people who act out when their illness is poorly managed. In the 1970s there weren’t any really good anti-depressants on the market and the ones offered to my mom came with some hefty side effects. Psychotherapy also wasn’t Full post …
Michelle says, Never enough babies!
