1 ~ The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

The God Card: Ask Your Husband

1 ~ The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings 2 Responses »

Apr 062010

How to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, In One Easy Step: Ask Your Husband

patriarch

The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

by Journey

Guidance for a wife is a very simple matter. It seems to boil down to just asking your husband. We have to remember that it is the man, the husband, that God designated to be the head, the authority in the home. –Genevieve M. White, in Daughters of Sarah, p. 59

The woman who wants to be in control is a wife who is in rebellion towards God. God does not look with favor on those who are rebellious towards Him… The Bible says that “Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft…” …Webster’s 1828 calls witchcraft, “intercourse with the devil.” The controlling wife is receiving her guidance from the wrong source, and this deception will cost her dearly somewhere along the way. …The desire to control is the basis of rebellion. – P. 34

The patriarchy camp sees men and women as very different creatures, and one of the distinguishing features of the two genders is that males are gifted to leadership and expected to take control, whereas females are designed to follow and are taught that to want control is to exhibit a rebellious heart (and since rebellion is regularly likened to witchcraft, i.e., intercourse with the devil). Therefore, leadership traits are not considered part of one’s personality type, but are viewed as either positive or negative depending on the sexual organs one was born with.

As a QF wife and a strong fundamentalist Christian, I had a deep desire to bring honor to God with my life. When I was taught that rebellion was as the sin of witchcraft, I determined not to be rebellious. The problem was that I was not born a passive dependent creature. Patriarchy, my deceived acceptance of patriarchy, and my spiritually abusive husband combined to fashion me into a passive and dependant creature. Much like the blog post we were discussing on the NLQ forum, “Biblical Womanhood” turns Scripture (often in well-intentioned ways) into a spiritual abuse guidebook, a manual for how to slowly but steadily crush every last spark of life in your bones.

The God Card: Thoughts from The Excellent Wife

1 ~ The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings 1 Response »

Feb 112010

Thoughts from The Excellent Wife

patriarch

The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

by Journey

Someone in the church told me that I should have known it was abusive when my husband was controlling my life (the details of which are in the parts of my story that I have shared thus far here). It’s like these people don’t realize that the very books they recommend Christian wives to read are the very books that taught me that my husband was not abusive but was, rather, a godly man.

For example, in the popular book, “The Excellent Wife,” by Martha Peace (1999), a woman learns that,

“Your husband is the one in charge. Being in charge does not mean he has to do everything. It does mean that he is responsible for managing his home. A part of that managing is delegating responsibility to others, including you.” (p. 52)

Martha Peace goes on to tell women that their role is to submit to their husbands authority and, “use your energies to glorify him” (p. 53).

How does a woman glorify her husband? The author explains that a husband is glorified when a wife obeys him, and goes on at length to describe the many ways a wife can obey his commands, seek to further his goals and defer to her husband’s will.

The God Card: Subordinate But Equal

1 ~ The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings 2 Responses »

Jan 272010

Subordinate But Equal (Piper and other Complementarians on ‘Biblical Womanhood’)

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The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

by Journey

The patriarchy camp loves to say that, at the core, it believes men and women are equal. A common phrase goes something like, “Men and women are equal, but simply have different roles to play.” The statement often works like a charm. After all, hey, they just said men and women are fundamentally equal, right?

People playing different roles isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, it’s usually positive. Images of actors on state are conjured up in our minds, putting on a costume to play one role or another—or different occupations people choose, like becoming a teacher, a police officer and a postal worker.

Playing a role is a temporary thing, such as a person’s career. For a time in his life, Brad might be a police officer. He puts on the police uniform and fulfills his role in society, until he reaches retirement. A police officer isn’t “who Brad is” at his core. It’s just the role he plays in society, during his active working years. Roles are generally good things. After all, what chaos our world would be in if people didn’t play their agreed-upon roles in society or in the orchestra or on the stage?

But the thing is, the patriarchy camp has adopted the word, “role,” and uses it frequently…only what they mean by “role” isn’t the same thing that the typical mind thinks of. In so doing, they have been able to soften the blow, hiding the full impact of their message, and thus cause many people to adopt their message who wouldn’t have bought in otherwise…at least, not if there had been a “full disclosure” policy beforehand.