Category — * The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings *

Thoughts from The Excellent Wife

The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

by Journey

Someone in the church told me that I should have known it was abusive when my husband was controlling my life (the details of which are in the parts of my story that I have shared thus far here). It’s like these people don’t realize that the very books they recommend Christian wives to read are the very books that taught me that my husband was not abusive but was, rather, a godly man.

For example, in the popular book, “The Excellent Wife,” by Martha Peace (1999), a woman learns that,

“Your husband is the one in charge. Being in charge does not mean he has to do everything. It does mean that he is responsible for managing his home. A part of that managing is delegating responsibility to others, including you.” (p. 52)

Martha Peace goes on to tell women that their role is to submit to their husbands authority and, “use your energies to glorify him” (p. 53).

How does a woman glorify her husband? The author explains that a husband is glorified when a wife obeys him, and goes on at length to describe the many ways a wife can obey his commands, seek to further his goals and defer to her husband’s will.

[Read more →]

Share this post!

Subordinate But Equal (Piper and other Complementarians on ‘Biblical Womanhood’)

The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

by Journey

The patriarchy camp loves to say that, at the core, it believes men and women are equal.  A common phrase goes something like, “Men and women are equal, but simply have different roles to play.”  The statement often works like a charm.  After all, hey, they just said men and women are fundamentally equal, right?  

People playing different roles isn’t necessarily bad.  In fact, it’s usually positive.  Images of actors on state are conjured up in our minds, putting on a costume to play one role or another—or different occupations people choose, like becoming a teacher, a police officer and a postal worker. 

Playing a role is a temporary thing, such as a person’s career.  For a time in his life, Brad might be a police officer.  He puts on the police uniform and fulfills his role in society, until he reaches retirement.  A police officer isn’t “who Brad is” at his core.  It’s just the role he plays in society, during his active working years.  Roles are generally good things.  After all, what chaos our world would be in if people didn’t play their agreed-upon roles in society or in the orchestra or on the stage?

But the thing is, the patriarchy camp has adopted the word, “role,” and uses it frequently…only what they mean by “role” isn’t the same thing that the typical mind thinks of.  In so doing, they have been able to soften the blow, hiding the full impact of their message, and thus cause many people to adopt their message who wouldn’t have bought in otherwise…at least, not if there had been a “full disclosure” policy beforehand.  

[Read more →]

Share this post!

A Good Man Will Make Sure Those Dishes Get Done (by Repenting For His Failure to Make Sure His Wife Does Them)  

by Journey

One of the most important things to do, in any arena of information, is to go directly to the source instead of relying on heresay. In posts to come, I intend to introduce direct statements from different leaders in the patriarchy movement, statements that will often include words I myself read, as I sought to obey God as a woman striving after His will, in a marriage that regularly left me confused, condemned and off-balance.

The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings

After reading and hearing stories like the ones featured on NLQ, one of the primary arguments that the “Biblical Manhood/Womanhood” camp makes is that,

A.) Our abusive husbands obviously took the teachings too far, or that,

B.) “We should have known better—we should have known to not submit to his controlling ways, should have known that godly submission would never require you to follow a list of cleaning rules, etc.”

They claim that the teachings of patriarchy aren’t to blame for what happened in our homes. No, no, not the teachings at all. It was all the fault of our own dysfunctions, the fault of a bad man, or all the fault of our own failure to properly appropriate the good and godly teachings.

So, say you are a woman married to a man who has to control you, and you are steeped in “Biblical Womanhood” teachings that tell you your calling from God is to submit to your husband’s leading. [Read more →]

Share this post!