by WanderingOne

I grew up hearing about my grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ deep faith.  Religiosity was, for my family, an important family heritage that was carefully handed down to us children.  Christianity was the most important thing my parents and grandparents thought that they could pass down to us. On my dad’s side, my great grandfather was a minister.  On my mom’s side, my grandparents served on the mission field in Latin America for a few years after they got married.  There was no escaping religion—it was instilled in us from before we could grasp it.

I can’t really say much about how things got to be as “bad” as they did.  I know my family has always been conservative, Bible-Believing, Calvinist Christians.  But  my parents weren’t homeschooled.  When my grandparents were raising them, Michael and Debi Pearl had yet to write any books.  There were no Botkin sisters for my mother to read when she was growing up.  My family was conservative, yes. Fundamentalist, definitely.  But not quiverfull, not homeschooling,  and not rigidly Patriarchal. I have seen photographs of my grandmothers wearing pants, after all.  I don’t know when it all changed.  I don’t know why it changed.  But it did.

My parents, both the eldest children in their families, seem to have been the ones to lead the charge into more extreme versions of Christianity.  They discovered Michael Pearl by the time I was 3.  And, while at first they put me in a Christian preschool, that lasted less than a month.  The decision to homeschool came almost immediately. If any of my relatives had any misgivings, they didn’t act upon them.  When my sister and the first of my cousins were born, 4 years after me,  they were brought into a family that had gone from “normal” fundamentalism, if there is such a thing, to one that was already enmeshed in the quiverfull movement and was quickly becoming more enmeshed.   We didn’t just have one set of parents to read and study and discover new ideas about how to raise godly children.  We had 5 and this I think, pushed collective movement forward much faster than if it had just been my mother and father.

That’s really hypothetical of course.  I don’t know what might have been different if it were just my parents.   I don’t know what my life might have been like if my parents had never discovered quiverfull or if they hadn’t homeschooled me.  I can only say how things actually were.  The best way to explain that seems to be to share some of my earliest memories.  I don’t know when most of these happened or when they happened in relationship to one another.  I know they happened before my sister and cousin were born; while I was still the only child of my generation.

However, I do know the date of the first memory I want to share.  February 9, 1991; right after I turned three.   This date was written in my first Bible—and subsequent Bibles as well.  My parents reminded me, with each passing year of the fact that I had had my “second birthday.”  “Second Birthday” sounds so happy—but I never got any gifts for it.  Instead, my parents came up with some character trait that needed improvement, or something that needed to change, if I was to live my life fully committed to the Lord.  But, on to the description of the night I got “saved!”

I had a fear of sleeping in my room.  There was a tree outside my window and it terrified me at night.   It didn’t look like a tree at night.  It looked like a monster that was going to come into my room and eat me. So, when I went to bed at night, I would curl up and push myself as far back against the wall opposite the window as I could.  My mother then came in to say good night and pray with me and, when she did, she moved me to the middle of my bed.   After she left, I usually pushed myself back against the wall again.  Usually, no one would know and I could sleep.  But, if my mother came back in and found me that way, I got in trouble for being disobedient.   That happened the night I got saved.  My mother returned to my room to see if I was asleep yet and I was curled up against the wall, not lying in the center of my bed.

My mother reminded me that I’m not supposed to sleep like that, telling me, something along the lines of ” I’ve already moved you once tonight.  I shouldn’t have to move you at all, actually.  When you get in bed, you should just lie in the middle part on your own.  You’ve disobeyed.  So, we’re going to have to do something about that.  I’m going to go get your father, and when I come back you should be in the middle of your bed.”

I moved to the middle of my bed.

My parents came in.  I was spanked.

I cried—resistance—more spanking.

After this my parents left and I lie in bed, afraid and hurting, trying not to cry.   And then, I made a connection:  I had done something bad.  I was going to go to hell.  If I was afraid of the tree in the window, I was ten times more afraid of hell. And not only would it be wrong to push myself back against the wall—thus disobeying and making me more deserving of hell—it wouldn’t help.  Being away from the window might protect me from the tree, but not from hell.

I don’t know what I thought hell would be like then.  Probably fiery and painful and full of dark scary shadows.   But whatever I thought hell was it was enough to make me sit up in bed and call for my parents, crying—even though I knew I might get in trouble for crying and making them come in.  My mom came, and as soon as she entered my room, I started telling her, through tears, that I didn’t want to go to hell.  I knew I wasn’t a good girl, but I didn’t want to go to hell.

My mother held me and hugged me and told me that I didn’t have to go to hell.  If I just trusted Jesus and asked him into my heart, God would forgive me—just like she and daddy did.  God might still have to discipline me—like she and daddy did—but I wouldn’t have to go to hell.  I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart that night and my parents were happy and excited.  We talked about God for a little bit longer, then I had to return to bed.  I eventually fell asleep in the middle of my bed, still very much afraid of the tree.

A few weeks later, I started crying in the night again.  I was scared.  I had disobeyed my parents that day, maybe I was going to go to hell.  My mother came in; I told her my fears.  The first time, she reminded me that I was saved and that I could pray and ask for forgiveness.  But when this happened again, a while later, I was “being manipulative” and trying to get out of sleeping. 

I learned to keep my fear of hell to myself.

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by hopewell

Q: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?

By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.

Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.

Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular motherhoood, but amplified – more kids, more laundry, more merriment.  

The most famous of these families, Michelle Duggar and her husband, Jim Bob….  Their fame sprouts primarily from their novelty: in 2008 Michelle Duggar was pregnant with her eighteenth child so far.  ”So far” is a ubiquitous phrase in the movement… that cutely restates a Quiverfull family’s continuing trust in God’s control of the womb.  But such theological underpinnings are glossed over to make room for the novel details of large family life. (Joyce, Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement, pp 138-139).

Does the decision to trust God and not birth control in their family planning alone qualify them as Quiverfull? Yes. Here’s why:

The Duggars wrote:

As conservative Christians, we believe every life is sacred, even the life of the unborn. Due to our lack of knowledge, we destroyed the precious life of our unborn child. We prayed and studied the Bible and found a host of references that told us God considered children a gift, a blessing, and a reward. (FAQ #2 para. 3).           

Among that “host of Bible references” is Pslam 127, verses 3—5, the verse on which the Quiverfull movement has been built:

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (Pslam 127:3-5 K.J.V.)

The website www.Quiverfull.com says “We exalt Jesus Christ as Lord, and acknowledge His headship in all areas of our lives, including fertility.”(para.1). Mary Pride, a founder of the Quiverfull school of thought has written: “Family planning is the mother of abortion,” (Mary Pride, The Way Home, quoted in Newsweek, para. 4).

The Duggars frequently speak out about “causing” Michelle’s miscarriage by the use of birth control pills. They also adhere to Biblically-based abstinence for a set number of days following the birth of a boy or girl. This also supposedly ties in to the teaching of the Institute for Basic Life Principles, the pseudo-Christian organization founded by Bill Gothard. Gothard teaches couples to only have intercourse when the woman is at her “fertile” time each month.

Even breast feeding, which can be a barrier to conception is not to be prolonged for this reason. Back when the couple had a mere 13 children, Jim-Bob was quoted in the New York Times as saying  he had “14 [children], really, since my wife is pregnant and life begins at conception’.” (New York Times, para. 11).  An admission of such beliefs by a politician in a paper with worldwide circulation can only mean one thing: He believes it.

The Quiverfull idea began in the backlash against feminism. Mary Pride’s book The Way Home and a book  A Full Quiver by Rick and Jan Hess are most frequently cited as giving birth to the Quiverfull lifestyle. Both reject birth control. These books, with the Bible, and often the teachings of Bill Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles and materials from the dominionist Patriarch group, Vision Forum, constitute the “How-To” manuals for prospective Quiverfull couples. (Joyce, Nation, p. 11).

The Duggars have been eager and thorough students.

On their TV show, Michelle has always said “children are like flowers, you can’t have too many flowers.” Jim-Bob frequently has said that he leaves the decision of having another child up to Michelle…..but is that true? In Gothardite families the husband is the undisputed leader of the family. “[W]omen live within stringently enforced doctrines of wifely submission and male headship,” (Kathryn Joyce - Quiverfull Book, para. 1).   If he wants to have sexual relations the wife says “yes.” Since the wife is not able to use birth control or to refuse her husband is the decision to have another child really hers? Would he really forgo his pleasure if she said she couldn’t handle having another child? Maybe. Certainly in other times men have made such a decision.

Today, with birth control the norm, we find it hard to believe. Many a Catholic couple of years gone by have lived out a platonic marriage– at least until the wife’s child bearing years have ended. Given the frequent, enthusiastic kissing and other shows of affection on their TV show though, it is doubtful that he would agree to a platonic life. Given their fervent belief in the rightness of allowing God to control their fertility and that they clearly see “that a woman’s constant sexual availability to her husband is not only her wifely “duty,” but also at the heart of her “ministry” as a believing Christian”  (Byrnes, T A (Summer 2009). Patriarchy: the glue that holds the culture war together.  Conscience, 30, 2. p.52(2). 

I doubt that a platonic marriage will ever exist between Mr. and Mrs. Duggar.

““Our bodies are meant to be a living sacrifice,” write the Hesses. Or, as Mary Pride, in another of the movement’s founding texts, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, puts it, “My body is not my own.” This rebuttal of the feminist health text Our Bodies, Ourselves is deliberate.” (Joyce, Nation, p. 11). 

One reviewer recounts Kathryn Joyce’s relentless documentation of the Quiverfull lifestyle’s  “pretty distasteful practices… including early arranged marriages; constant pregnancy and childbirth; absolute female submission to male authority, whether in the person of a father, a brother, a husband or most cringe-inducing, a self-appointed pastor. Joyce recounts story after story of girls being raised for submission….. ((Byrnes, T A (Summer 2009). Patriarchy: the glue that holds the culture war together.  Conscience, 30, 2. p.52(2). 

Joyce herself has defined Quiverfull families thus: “Quiverfull parents try to have upwards of six children. They home-school their families, attend fundamentalist churches and follow biblical guidelines of male headship—’Father knows best’—and female submissiveness.” (Joyce, Nation, p. 11).

Do the math on this alone and the Duggars add up to 100% Quiverfull.

Another aspect of the Duggar’s life that speaks plainly to being Quiverfull is the isolated life-style they have chosen and which they show us on their TV program. (I am told this, and their religious beliefs, were made very clear in the original airing of “14 Kids and Pregnant” which has since been re-edited. I have only seen the re-released version.) The family generally does everything together. Friends are discouraged except from like-minded families and in fully supervised settings. Children are not allowed to enroll in sports leagues or other activities that “disrupt” family life. The individual never comes before the family and reflects the Duggars oft-repeated maxim “Jesus first, others second, yourself last.” 

When the Duggars made a rare made-for-TV-appearance at a local elementary school this was well illustrated: all of the Duggar children in attendance were below or above the age appropriate to the school. When one of the eldest girls was asked to recommend a favorite book to the children, she struggled to come up with a Quiverfull-favorite “Before You Meet Prince Charming: A Guide to Radiant Purity” by Sarah Mally—a book wildly inappropriate to the age and setting.

While we have seen the Duggars go to “broomball,” (a sport few have even heard of) they naturally went as a family and while there were a few outsiders on the ice, their interactions were very stiff at best. The “friends” we have been introduced to on “16/17/18/19 Kids and Counting” are all like-minded and most are openly members of Bill Gothard’s ATI/IBPL organizations. While we have been told the Duggars participate in home church (often another tell-tale sign of Quiverfull life) we have not been introduced to all the families. This leads me to believe that all may not be members of ATI, but are simply “like minded.”

The Duggar children have been shown to be clueless of such things as the rules of baseball or why Dolly Parton is famous.  They knew only that “Miss Dolly” promotes reading and likes kids! Right…. There are no minorities visible in their lives, although that is not a-typical of white middle class families in suburban and rural areas. Finally how many “average” teenagers would ask for quotes from “the Founding Fathers” to adorn their bedroom walls or to share a bedroom with siblings ranging in age from birth to 18? Probably none—outside of those educated in revisionist Christian Dominionist history and born into a Quiverfull family?!

On the TV special “16 Kids and Moving In” we met the Holt family. Jim Holt is a long-time friend of Jim-Bob and is also active in Arkansas politics. His similarly large family had been linked to the Duggars publically thru their “fellowship” gatherings and thru broomball at the local rink. Duggar and Holt campaigned for each other as well. In the show the children are shown mingling and talking with the adults—evidence of how well “socialized” they are compared to public school kids who spend all day with age-mates. Mysteriously, the friendship cooled after the Duggars TV shows began.

There have been unconfirmed rumors that the eldest Duggar child, Joshua, was “betrothed” to one of the Holt girls, but that betrothal never went forward into marriage, possibly due to some transgression of rules by Joshua Duggar. (Google “Duggar – sin in the camp.”)

Another family, the Forsyths, own Fort Rock Family Camp and were featured an the episode in which we were invited along on a Father/Daughter camping retreat. While the Forsyths have only two children, they clearly live a family-centered, Patriarchal lifestyle—as was shown on an episode of “World’s Strictest Parents.”  While on this retreat we also saw Jim-Bob being a “father to the fatherless–” reaching out to girls who had lost their father to death. This was to show that the Duggar children DO have friends beyond their siblings.

Then there is the Bates family. Gil and Kelly Bates are long-time friends of the Duggars who have recently become closer as their mega-families (all of similar age) begin reaching Courtship age. They have connected at ATI family events and the Duggars have been shown designing and helping build almost an entire new home for the Bates family. Like the Duggars, the Bates speak openly about changing their thinking to allow God to plan their family. In fact, Kelly Bates said “I always told my family I wasn’t going to have any children….I was very career oriented.” “[Kelly] said she wanted to work with special needs children or in some kind of ministry.”

It is my belief that a few ideas have been “road tested” for the Duggars by the Bates. One such is the idea of grown unmarried daughter continuing her education after her GED. In the last season of “18 Kids and Counting” we were introduced to the tremendous musical talent of Erin Bates and were informed that she had turned down a chance to study music in college. Apparently this did not go down well with viewers. Erin was allowed to take a music theory course at a local ultra-conservative Christian school—Crown College. One of the older Duggar girls even got to go along to see the college. The second “test drive” by the Bates is the possibility of college study on a larger scale than merely a necessary class. They have acknowledged that that their eldest son “Zachary earned a high score on his ACT test, has a high school degree and is now immersed in college-level studies.”  Could this be testing the waters for a Duggar boy or Girl? Not likely, given Gothard’s teachings, but still a possibility.

Another way we know the Duggars are Quiverfull is by their children’s pat answers. In each of the episodes when a new baby has been announced the kids are always “thrilled.” So, too, are the Bates children—shown “celebrating” Mom’s positive pregnancy test early in the morning on the long drive to the Duggar’s home.  We were treated to a family “vote” on the new baby’s name, too [for Jordyn].  It is very telling that the older girls speak of “our little kids” in ways normally only a mother would speak. A hallmark of such families is to have the older children (especially the older girls) help out with the housework and child care. The little children are routinely shown being helped, instructed, scolded and comforted by their big sisters.  Still, it is “Daddy” whose word is law. The command “Daddy says no one is to play outside,” was shown in one episode to elicit immediate obedience.

The Duggar children, after age 8, are expected to help their younger siblings thru the family’s “Buddy System.” The “big Buddy” helps the little one get dressed, do school work and even help them learn to play the piano or violin. Jim-Bob has written in their book that “The buddy system brings much joy to our home.”  The family also uses what they call “jurisdictions” which divide the household chores among the children. “Many hands make light work,” is a favorite Duggar saying. The most arduous chores—such as meal preparation and the never-ending laundry, however, are in the hands of the elder girls and have been since they were pre-teens. [“14 Kids…” “16 Kids…” “Raising 16 kids”]. In the early Duggar TV specials the older girls were visibly exhausted and shown bizarrely wearing dress coats and carrying diaper bags and shoulder purses all before reaching their teens.

The older children also are expected to uphold the teachings and standards imposed by the parents. Viewers were recently treated to Joy-Anna Duggar [a preteen at the time] covering a TV screen and using the family code word “Nike” to prevent her younger brothers from seeing something inappropriate. She did not want them to be “defrauded” by the image on the screen, but  could not really define the term “defraud.”  Her sheepish Grandmother explained that Joy-Anna had been taught to do this. Very recently we saw Josh Duggar and wife Anna back home helping care for his siblings while Michelle and baby Josie were hospitalized. He spoke of having to reassert his authority as the eldest sibling.

Various Duggar children were shown at the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival enjoying “wholesome” family entertainment, such as the movie “Fireproof” and speaking out about how badly this is needed.  Strangely, many of the Duggars watching these films were way below the target audience age, but being a Quverfull and Patriarchal family, they all went together.

The kids have all been shown participating in activities at an ATI family event in Big Sandy, Texas and, we have been told, Josh Duggar met his wife, Anna, in a concession line at one such event. While the boys mostly went off to enjoy themselves rappelling and doing other fun things, the older girls were volunteer helpers with all the little children’s activities at the event and only enjoyed a break for the combined orchestra’s practice and performance. Later in the same year, the oldest girls earned a break from housework and child care and attended an ATI girls retreat designed to reinforce the teachings they have grown up with.

The Duggars are also part of the “debt free” and “self supporting” wing of the Christian right. Jim-Bob gives credit to ATI’s financial guru, Jim Sammons–even linking to Sammon’s program on the family web site. The Duggars and their most visible friends eschew jobs in favor of family-owned businesses. Keeping the family together in the home, in homeschool and in family- and home-based business is essential to Quiverfull thinkers.

Jim-Bob Duggar has been very “blessed” by some of his real estate deals. Examples shown on their show were land rented out for a cell phone tower as well as a former chicken hatchery that is leased as commercial and warehouse space. In their book he gives even more details of fortunate real estate deals. Michelle explained on the show that they worked “really hard” when they were young to be able to “relax” now.

The Duggar sons are expected to follow this line of thinking in their own careers. To date 3 sons are now done with their “education,” have a GED and are in business. Josh, following in his father’s footsteps, has a used car lot. John David, again in his father’s footsteps, has a towing business. Joseph, who is currently at the family home with elder brother John, has not been identified as having his own business but is said to be helping John. To mainstream America, these boys are not educated to the point of having a job at much more than McDonalds. In fact you cannot even enlist in the U.S.Marine Corps with a GED! But in Quiverfull families, this is normal.

The Duggar friends all have similar business—the Stanleys have a construction company, the Bates own a tree service company, the Maxwells have a family business producing materials for family scheduling. In their book, the Duggars provide mere lip-service to the idea that their children could realistically aspire to more:

“If one of our children is called to a specialized field, such as medicine, we will help him or her prepare for it. But our main educational goal is to give them as much knowledge and as many skills as possible to prepare them for adult life. While we value academics, we also want to prepare them to run a household or support a family with skills such as cooking, sewing, carpentry, plumbing, electrical, mechanical, money managing, negotiating, and sales experience.”

The Duggar daughters have been shown via the Discovery Health Channel’s web site to have career goals. The joke is on the readers however, as each girl has chosen a Gothard-approved goal like nurse, midwife, missionary, beautician. Helpfully, ATI has training programs in each of these areas. The Duggars also have shown how they teach the girls to change the oil in the car or change a flat tire as well as showing the boys learning to cook or doing some housework. This particular episode of the show seemed hopelessly “staged.” Especially when the girls were shown in the garage learning about the car—all while little Johanna toddled about in such an inappropriate setting!

The Duggars show up consistently as visitors for “fellowship” with other openly Quiverfull families on their family blogs. The Maxwells, a family who sings and ministers together and whose adult children continue to live with their parents and under their authority, have not only been seen visiting with the Duggars, but have had their “Chore Packs” and “Managers of Their Homes” Scheduling product featured on the Duggar’s show. Links to other family visits:

Maxwell Family: Fellowship on the Road

Joel’s Journey: Visiting the Duggar Family…

Staddon Family: Meet the Bates Family

Dotrignac Family: March 14th 2006

Sam Baldwin: Duggars and Baldwins

Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar, their friends Gil and Kelly Bates and others would not be speaking at ATI/IBLP events unless they fully toed the “party line” of Bill Gothard. The Duggars are the “cash cow,” the “draw” for the organization. That party line is “Quiverfull” with a capital “Q”.  Do they agree with the idea of “militant fecundity”—i.e. “outbreeding” the liberal right? (Newsweek, para. 6-7).   I believe so. After all Joyce writes:

Quiverfull women are more than mothers. They’re domestic warriors in the battle against what they see as forty years of destruction wrought by women’s liberation: contraception, women’s careers, abortion, divorce, homosexuality and child abuse, in that order. (Joyce, Nation, p. 11).

The Duggars, in years past, were active in the Right-to-Life movement, attending protests as a family. Recently the tabloid press has reported that Michelle’s elder sister is a partner in a long-term lesbian relationship. While that sister has been shown on the TV show there was no discussion of her lifestyle.

Jim-Bob has been active in politics for years. Eldest son, Joshua, was once known as “the Little Governor” for trailing his Daddy around the Arkansas State House. Josh has also stated his goal of entering politics, although that has not been mentioned on the TV show. For a while at least, Joshua had a part-time business doing “communications” work for politicians.  Sadly, his name is the only thing that will help him compete against homeschoolers graduating from Patrick Henry College and other conservative political training grounds.  Even his once stated-goal of attending Bill Gothard’s online law school would not help him. Graduates of that institution are  reportedly allowed to sit the bar exam in only a few states—possibly only in California. Even the oldest Duggar girl’s have had political experience on the campaign for their Dad and for former presidential candidate and family friend Mike Huckabee.

So, how does all this mesh with a TV reality show? Not very well. There are a few possibilities here.

• First, that Jim-Bob and Michelle, like most parents, have moderated their standards and expectations over time. A household with kids ranging from birth to early adulthood has very, very different needs than a family of under-5s. That the kids, especially the oldest 6, are sporting trendier, but still modest clothing, and better hairstyles is a sign of growing up and of more prosperous financial times for the whole family.

• Second, that they are “white washing” or “soft pedaling” on the Gothard part of their lives to be more attractive to a wider audience. This may also be a requirement in their contract with TLC. Gothard’s true membership figures are not known and the Duggars could be a great recruiting tool to other like-minded families who would not otherwise learn of the organization. Things like the “family uniform” put off “seekers” who might be enticed to become ATI and Quiverfull families. So too are many of the disciplinary practices touted by Gothard’s organization. These would not appeal to a broader audience

• Third, they may have “given” a little on dress in order to conduct “friendship evangelism.” The family’s stated goal in going on TV was to reach others for Christ. As then 15-year old Jana Duggar put it in one interview: “’We’re able to share with others about Christ and what he’s done in our lives,’ she said, stressing the family’s primary message: ‘Children are a blessing and not a burden.’” Out-of-style clothing and bad hair are noticed in all the wrong ways. Looking like “everyone else,” if a bit more modest, helps newcomers to see their lifestyle as attainable and enjoyable.

Which is the truth? While nay-sayers will quickly vote for “selling out for commercial gain,” it’s likely some of each is a possibility. Still, the Duggars would not be invited to speak at all kinds of ATI/IBLP or Vision Forum events without being card carrying members of the Quiverfull party. I believe Jim-Bob and Michelle, as the world’s most visible adherents to Gothard’s teachings, have the organization’s permission to style themselves in a more mainstream mode.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck …

So, bottom-line time:

Quiverfull is not a denomination – there are no membership rolls or doctrinal statements to sign.  Quiverfull is a philosophy and its consequent lifestyle which Jim Bob and Michelle have demonstrably adopted.

Are the Duggars Quiverfull? You bet your life!

Are they Patriarchal? Of course!

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Laura and her namesake, Laura Rosie ~ aren’t they lovely?!

Please join us this evening in the NLQ Chat Room for our one-year celebration party!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ 

Laura will be the Guest of Honor ~ she’ll be logging in around 6 p.m. pacific time.  Be sure to stop by to chat with Laura and wish her well in her happy new life!!!  See you there.

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Hooray ~ NLQ is a year old today! 

What started out as a small blog with two Quiverfull refugees telling our stories has in just one year’s time become the foremost online resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle as well as a thriving virtual community of a diverse group of women (and a few men) to support and encourage one another as we process our experiences and recover from spiritual abuse.

Highlights from NLQ’s first year:

In the initial days following the publication of Kathryn Joyce’s “All God’s Children” on Salon.com, No Longer Quivering received a tremendous response of supportive feedback and posts around the blogosphere heralding “two brave women” ~ within the first month NLQ was nominated for the Canadian “F-word” Blog Awards: Best Feminist Blog International.  At the time of the nomination, our escape from QF was still so fresh and our comprehension of what we were doing so naïve, I asked Laura, “Are we feminists?”  To which Laura hesitantly responded, “I guess so.” LOL

Enthusiasm for this project has not slowed ~ currently, the blog and forum are getting 80,000+ hits / “visitors” per month ~ “page views” is nearly 500,000 per month.  The blog alone gets an average of 6,500 page views per day ~ the forum gets more than twice that amount.  Average time on site per visit is 12 mins. and 5.8 page views per reader. 

There have been a number of media opportunities ~ including my appearance on the Joy Behar Show to promote the “Born to Breed” episode of WEtv’s Secret Lives of Women.  I got to go to New York City ~ and the highlight of that trip was meeting Kathryn Joyce in person ~ after all the hours she spent interviewing me on the phone, we’ve developed a friendship, so it was a real treat to visit with Kathryn in the lounge of the Millinium Broadway hotel near Times Square.

While I was in NYC, the NLQ Carnival Days were in full swing ~ NLQ readers and supporters contributed over 50 posts for 4 days of round-the-clock articles and stories telling how the Quiverfull movement has impacted our lives.  We followed this up in December with a replay of Tapati’s Body Image Workshop and Journey began a new series: The God Card ~ Thoughts on Patriarchal Teachings.

Several former QF/P women have begun writing for NLQ ~ so there’s a growing collection of stories and essays which highlight the truth behind the ubiquitous smiles of many Quiverfull families.  Welcome Tapati, Erika, Journey, Sierra, Ruth, RunawayBride and MusicMom.  We’ve also added an extensive FAQ section ~ special thanks to Kristen Rosser and Dogemperor for their dedicated work on developing these resources for exiting QF women.

We are also working  to establish a charitable and educational organization to promote public awareness and support for families — particularly mothers — who want to leave the lifestyle. These women are very passionate about fighting back against what one NLQ forum member recently described as the ‘soul murder’ of women and young girls.  Just got the papers to sign for incorporation in the mail yesterday ~ how exciting!

So ~ a lot happening ~ and there’s more to come.

Future Plans for NLQ:

We’re getting ready to introduce a new series: Fertile Ground will be a collection of brief articles from former QFers describing the ways in which the Quiverfull/Patriarchal teachings are “Fertile Ground” ~ a perfect set-up ~ for the abuse that we suffered ~ or inflicted ~ while we were living the QF/P ideals.

For instance ~ I have been reading the book, “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” ~ and the premise of the book is that abusive men are not mentally ill or unintelligent ~ they are, in fact, living consistently according to a set of beliefs which they have accepted about themselves and the women in their lives. The author then goes on to list exactly what those beliefs are ~ superiority, entitlement, etc. ~ and not surprisingly, every single point is supported and given biblical sanction within the QF/P worldview.

I’m sure this new “Fertile Ground” section of NLQ will be a real eye-opener and a valuable resource in explaining just exactly why QF/P is not such a good idea.

We have several new story series in the works:

I Am So Much More Than a Maiden of Virtue! by WonderingOne (look for the first installment this coming Tuesday)

Destiny of a Virtuous Daughter ~ by StarFury

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ by Kiery

Calulu is planning a series on recovery, exercises designed to smash through that old voice telling you not to do those things which were forbidden in the QF/P lifestyle.  As Calulu explained: even after I have been out for three years I had to drown out the voice in my head telling me it was wrong when I was undressing in the gym locker room.  Yep ~ we know the feeling!

We’re also putting together a Memorial ~ names, dates, and details of those who have lost their lives as a direct result of abusive QF/P beliefs and practices ~ Andrea Yates, of course, will be the most recognizable name on the Memorial ~ Sean Paddock and Lydia Shatz will be remembered, along with an alarming number of women and children who are not so well-known.

There’ll be more work on the Take Heart Project ~ we have plans to update and improve the website ~ and new materials, resources, etc. will be added in the near future.

Well ~ I know there’s more in the works ~ but my mind just went blank and I can’t think of anything else ~ LOL

Anyway ~ really looking forward to more good things here at NLQ. 

Comments are OPEN ~ let me know if you have any suggestions for ways that we can better serve and support each other all the way:

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by Laura

So much can happen in a year!  Just a year ago Vyckie and I birthed this blog which has morphed into such a wonderful resource of encouragement and help for folks.  It has also been a great place of healing for myself and I am so grateful for all the love and encouragement I have experienced through the birth and growth of NLQ!

I have been pretty quiet the last 9 months or so and it has been necessary for me to be so.  Yet, in honor of the NLQ Anniversary, I want to come out of my silence, so to speak, and give you all an update on what has been happening in my life.  If you are feeling a bit blue or discouraged or have just been thinking that life will NEVER get better…read on for a lift in your spirit.  Dreams really DO come true!

When I left you, dear readers, I was just about to embark on the adventure of a life time with the man I had loved all my life.(Since 1980 anyway!)  I decided to stop writing at that time because I was concerned about how the story would affect my children (who were following my story quite regularly at that time).  I wasn’t too excited about them reading that their mom, who had been married to their dad almost 25 years and was a faithful and committed Christian in the deepest of legalistic and fundamentalist sense, had an affair.  Even though this is what took place.  I will leave out the next year and a half and just say that I did leave my husband Dale (several times actually) and finally moved to Washington State to be with Richard. I will leave out the indescribable guilt and pain, the shame and agony of being away from my children and the oceans of tears that were shed.  I will not elaborate on the many days of self medication and self recrimination and the lies of worthlessness that I listened to, that I repeatedly told myself.  I can only liken it to the horrific pain of labor, that whole body agony that we moms all have gone through.  It seemed it would never end; it got worse and worse as I beat my self up for leaving my babies and trying to take care of my self.  Richard kept reminding me that if I had stayed there, my kids wouldn’t have a mom anymore as I was increasingly suicidal before I left Dale.  Yet I couldn’t get past the fact that I was the world’s most horrid mother as I had left my 10 month old, nursing child behind.  Not only was the pain unbearable in my heart and mind, but my body ached for my child as my breasts filled with milk and there was no little one to feed. Looking back, I see that I was at the breaking point and I knew that I had to stay away from my ex in order to survive. Our religion had become too oppressive for me and I couldn’t live as just another of Dale’s children any longer.

It has been almost two years since I left and my life has changed in so many ways.  It is as if the pain-filled time of labor has passed and I have given birth to a new life.  My life.  My life without patriarchy, fundamentalism, hypocrisy, or legalism.  My life filled with unconditional love, acceptance, encouragement, affirmation, joy and hope.  On December 12, 2007, I married the man of my dreams.  I was standing in the ocean in Hawaii with my precious Moms watching.  Ever since I was a teenager I had wanted to share his name.  At last…I do!

My relationships with my children went through some VERY tough times as you can imagine.  Yet now things are going so well that I feel like I have I have been given a most precious gift. 2 of my sons married last year and I was asked to sing at one of their weddings. One of my older daughters came to visit us and left with an appreciation for the man who loves and cares for her mom.  Another daughter is coming out to nanny my nephew for a few months and she will spend most weekends with us.  My younger kids have come to visit here at my place and they have fallen in love with their step dad…and he with them.  This is no small feat since he was seen as the devil incarnate because of my relationship with him AND…he has never had any kids of his own and never really wanted any.  It is amazing to see the changes happening in my life and the lives of those I love.

As for me personally…I am doing very well.  I never knew I could be so happy. I never knew that marriage could be so fulfilling and joyous.  I have been slowly coming back to myself, finding out who Laura is, what Laura likes and doesn’t like, and what Laura wants to do with the rest of her life.  It is a daunting and challenging thing to take on but I have the most wonderful support in my hubby and my therapist.  I am learning that my opinions matter and that I am actually a pretty smart woman.  I no longer take the stance of a doormat and will often be assertive.  Sometimes I still go overboard into the aggressive instead of just being assertive but it’s all a learning process. 

I have a job for the first time in almost 25 years and I like bringing home a paycheck.  I am thinking about going back to school and it seems the world is open to me now.  Spiritually, I am in neutral.  I have a longing for some sort of spirituality in my life but anything that rings of Christianity leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I am so not interested in any kind of religious belief that is based on guilt and fear. 

As to writing my experiences down in a book….I really don’t want to go there now.  When we first began the blog, it was so therapeutic to get all that icky stuff out.  It caused a lot of pain for my kids but the healing it was doing for me seemed more important to me at the time.  Now that a lot of that is behind me, I really don’t want to go back and relive it all as I write it down.  I am moving forward and growing and changing.  I don’t want my past to hold me down in bad ways.  So no book for me at this point.  It was tough enough to write this update for NLQ’s Anniversary!

I will say that my Ex and I have a very civil, friendly relationship these days.  He remarried about two weeks after I did.  They are getting divorced now.  My Ex is a great dad.  He really is.  He is just a miserable husband.  My kids seem relieved and his soon to be ex (who has become a good friend of mine!!) also seems happier to be away from him.  As for Richard and me….well I never knew that marriage could be so WONDERFUL!!!!

My best to you all…And remember …nothing is impossible…nothing!

I love you,

A very happy Laura

p.s. Follow my new happy life on Facebook!

Comments are OPEN ~ post your well-wishes to Laura below

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by Vyckie

Back in January of last year, I was checking out articles on Alternet ~ the progressive news site which my uncle Ron had introduced to me during that momentous year of our correspondence which I’ve come to think of as my “rehab” days ~ it was a year of waking up to the fact that my strict fundamentalism was not only unhealthy for me, but was also destroying my family, going through the withdrawal-like process of freeing my thought life from its narrow, black/white thinking patterns, getting clean of the “virus of the mind” which, in my own life, had been the “hard stuff” which numbed my brain and created illusions of happiness when reality was just too painful to deal with when completely sober.

I’d been on the wagon with regard to religion for about a year when I happened upon Kathryn Joyce’s article, Women’s ‘Liberation’ Through Submission: An Evangelical Anti-Feminism Is Born.  As I read about the “Quiverfull movement” ~ I was so astonished ~ I had no idea that anyone who was not actually practicing this lifestyle was even aware of what is unambiguously taught and believed among “Quiverfull” women.

The more I read, the stronger I felt an urge to talk to Kathryn ~ I wanted someone to know that, “Hey ~ this is what I was doing ~ I was Quiverfull!”

I posted the following comment on the Alternet story:

I am very interested in this topic because I lived as a “True Woman” of God for 20+ years until my oldest daughter’s suicide attempt woke me up to the lie I was living. I have not only followed this patriarchal worldview, but have promoted it in my own Christian “Pro-life, Pro-family” newspaper (which I have since sold) and in my articles which have appeared in patriarchy / quiverfull movement publications including Home School Digest, An Encouraging Word and Above Rubies Magazines. I know many of the leaders of this movement personally ~ my oldest daughter lived with Nancy Campbell and R.C Sproul Jr. ~ two influential leaders in the movement.

After a year-long email exchange with my something-like-an-atheist uncle, I have totally left the patriarchal belief system ~ I divorced my abusive husband and am now a single mom to 7 kids. I quit homeschooling ~ put all my kids in public school for the first time this year.

After getting myself out of the cult-like movement, I contacted a fellow home-church mom whom I had been friends with and I knew she was having the same struggles that I experienced ~ burn out from too many pregnancies and the hard, demanding lifestyle, plus domination by a controlling, emotionally abusive husband. My friend felt trapped and wanted to kill herself. I invited her to stay in my home ~ she left her husband and 11 children in order to escape a lifestyle that was slowly killing her. Now that she is out, and has “seen the light” (we both read “Dance of a Dissident Daughter” and “The Skeptical Feminist“), she is now struggling with much anger and loss ~ she has lost half her life (we’re both 43 years old) and all her children to a controlling ex-husband who has them convinced that she is deceived by Satan and on her way to Hell. (I’m not making this up!)

Anyway ~ I’m looking for resources ~ seems there must be a way that she can fight for her children. She is so fragile emotionally from all the abuse that she’s endured. But she has not completely lost hope ~ she wants to help her children.

I would love to correspond with Ms. Joyce. There is so much more that I could add to this story ~ my friend and I both have been through an incredible trip through Hell ~ and I’m not sure if we’ve come out the other side yet!

We have a story to tell. We were both thoroughly convinced of the patriarchal, fundamentalist worldview ~ we understand the mindset and can totally relate to the women who submit themselves to that sort of lifestyle.

I would like to help other women that I know who are struggling desperately to survive ~ their worldview has them feeling trapped in unlivable conditions and they are burning out.

That comment led to an email from Kathryn ~ and then we talked on the phone. Or rather, I should say that I talked ~ and talked ~ and talked!  What a relief just to be able to tell my story to another woman who had an understanding of what I’d been through! 

Just as it is for alcoholics who are serious about breaking their addiction ~ leaving QF meant drastic changes for myself and my family ~ divorce, loss of friendships, loss of income ~ and the greatest upheaval of all ~ my loss of faith. 

Thankfully, not everyone deserted me and so I did have a few people I could talk to ~ Mimi (my mother), Heather (my pastor), John (it’s complicated), Deb (my therapist) ~ and, after I “rescued” her ~ Laura ~ my friend.  Still, I was desperate for support and community ~ what a relief it would have been to find a place like NLQ when I took that first step on the road to recovery.

After spending hours on the phone as I related my story (thanks for listening, Kathryn!), Kathryn wrote All God’s Children for Salon.com ~ and in the process, helped me to realize the importance of sharing my experiences publicly. 

“You should write a book,” Kathryn encouraged me.  With six kids still at home, it seemed impossible that I could actually produce a book any time soon ~ but there was something I could do …

I called up my friend, Laura ~ who by that time had remarried and moved to Seattle to be with the love of her life, Richard ~ and I invited her to start a blog with me.

We began posting one year ago today.  When setting up the blog, I didn’t have a name in mind, so started the blogger account @ “2spb” ~ as an anniversary bonus, I’ll tell you now that it stood for “Two Seriously Pissed Bitches” ~ LOL

In a way, it seems like just yesterday that we “birthed” No Longer Quivering ~ but at the same time, it’s been ages ago ~ so much has transpired, so many stories shared, lives changed, friendships made … Wow!  It’s been an amazing journey ~ thanks to all the dedicated NLQ readers who’ve been with us through it all.

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Michael Pearl has issued a scornful brush-off of critic’s charge that No Greater Joy Ministry’s “child-training” advice incited Kevin and Elizabeth Statz to beat their 9-year-old daughter, Lydia to death using quarter-inch plumbing supply line.

by Vyckie

I am nearly speechless with anger after reading a link postedby NLQ forum member, Asteli which highlights Michael Pearl’s “Laughing” Facebook note response to his critics.

“It has come to my attention that a vocal few are decrying our sensible application of the Biblical rod in training up our children. I laugh at my caustic critics, for our properly spanked and trained children grow to maturity in great peace and love.”

A vocal few? Who Is Speaking Out Against Abuse? ~ I’d say there are more than a few “caustic critics” who are outraged over the “application of the Biblical rod” which lead to the death of Lydia Shatz.

“Numbered in the millions, these kids become the models of self-control and discipline, highly educated and creative-entrepreneurs that pay the taxes your children will receive in entitlements. When your children finally find an honest mechanic or a trustworthy homebuilder, it will be one of ours. When your children apply for a job it will be at a company our children founded. When they go to a doctor, it will be one of our Christian children that heals them with cutting edge innovation. When your adult kids go for therapy it will be one of our kids-become-psychologist that directs them to the couch and challenges them to release their self-loathing and embrace hope for a better tomorrow.”

Numbered in the millions ~ that’s a terrifying thought ~ but it is true that No Greater Joy Ministries is a 1.5 million dollar a year business. If no one was buying, reading, and implementing the Pearl’s potentially-deadly child training advice, we could laugh right back at him ~ but as it stands, this is no laughing matter.

Models of self-control and discipline?  Yes ~ undoubtedly, children trained by Pearl’s methods will have extraordinary self-control and self-discipline ~ anyone whose ever survived the terrorism of physical and emotional abuse as a child will testify to their ingrained ability to tow the line ~ to jump when the abuser yells, Jump! and to never dare let go and just be a carefree, happy, inquisitive child uninhibited by the abusive parent’s seemingly-omniscient watchfulness and omnipotent control.

So far as Michael Pearl’s boast regarding the superiority of NGJ-trained kids ~ it is doubtful that children whose natural inquisitiveness has been stifled by their parents’ expectation of “instant, joyful obedience” will retain the sort of creative, flexible, risk-taking personalities which characterize entrepreneurs and successful business professionals.

I well remember paging through my copy of To Train Up A Child as a dreamy-eyed young mother desperately seeking the very best, most godly way to raise my children.

In his book, Michael Pearl suggests tempting a child with a bite of their favorite food ~ placing a morsel within the child’s reach ~ and when said child instinctively reaches out for the food ~ Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’  Repeat as many times as necessary until the child is trained not to automatically grab for whatever he or she wants ~ but rather, to automatically look to the parent for permission before reaching out to take the desired food.

Even in my Quiverfull-induced stupor ~ I recognized the cruelty of such parenting advice ~ to deliberately tempt your child and then smack them when they take the bait?!!  I remember thinking, didn’t Jesus teach us to pray “lead us not into temptation”? If it’s not okay for our Heavenly Father to lead us into temptation ~ how can it be right for earthly parents to do this to their children?  I did not bother to finish reading the book.

Thankfully, I joined the local Le Leche League group for breastfeeding support and was introduced to Dr. William Sear’s “attachment” approach to parenting which jived with my natural inclination for gentle mothering.  Admittedly, I still did occasionally spank my children ~ but thankfully, I stopped short of purchasing the quarter-inch plumbing supply line in my quest to have happily obedient children.

“When your children grow old and realize their mortality and seek to make peace with their Creator, it will be one of our children that shares with them the message of God’s love and forgiveness.”

Holy shit! ~ I am having difficulty finding words to express the anger ~ the fury ~ which I felt rising up within me as I read Pearl’s utterly preposterous claim that children raised according to his methods will be sharing the message of God’s love.  Pardon my French, but ~ WTF?!! 

Since the No Longer Quivering website was started almost a year ago, former Quiverers and their children have taken the opportunity to share their heart-wrenching stories of spiritual abuse ~ and the sheer horror of it all is so overwhelming that readers are sickened and often need to take a break ~ it’s just too much to bear! 

Sadly, many of us ~ myself included ~ cannot hear the words “God” and “love” in the same sentence without a roll of the eyes or the need of a barf pail.

“My five grown children are laughing at your foolish, uninformed criticism of God’s method of child training, for their kids-my 17 grandkids-are laughing . . . because that is what they do most of the time. They laugh when Daddy is coming home. They laugh when it is time to do more homeschooling. They laugh when it is time to practice the violin and piano. They laugh when they see their Big Papa coming (that’s me) because Big Papa is laughing and they don’t care why just as long as he laughs with them.”

God’s method of child training.  Need I say it?  This man is delusional!

“My granddaughters laugh with joy after giving their baby dolls a spanking for ‘being naughty’ because they know their dolls will grow up to be the best mamas and daddies in the world-just like them.”

Not to mention sick and twisted. 

“People all around the world, in places like Russia, China, Germany, New Zealand, Guatemala, Peru, Africa, and fifty other countries are laughing with joy because after applying the Biblical principles found in our books they finally have happy and obedient children.”

Take note people: parents around the world are laughing with joy because after beating their children into unquestioning submission, their kids no longer have the will to resist the extinguishing of their personhood and the murder of their very souls.

Do you think that Michael Pearl’s lunatic ranting cannot possibly get any worse? Think again:

“Even my chickens are laughing . . . well, actually it is more like cackling, because they just laid another organic egg for my breakfast and they know that it was that same piece of ¼ inch plastic supply line that trained the dogs not to eat chicken.”

Shameless and unrepentant, Michael Pearl shows not an ounce of remorse or regret ~ not even an inkling of pity for Lydia Shatz or her parents who are living the nightmare of knowing they killed their child for the glory of God.

Revolting as Michael Pearl’s mockery is ~ the response of his followers is all the more disturbing:

“Laughing with you Mike and Debi!!! LOL”

“Strangers and friends alike, are always asking why our kids are so happy! Thank you, Pearls, for your consistent encouragement over the years.”

“The world needs more laughter, of the wholesome kind!”

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Persuasiveness vs. Contentiousness – Guiding vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks (II Timothy 2:24) – Bill Gothard

by RazingRuth

One of the goals of homeschooling, for ATI and I’m sure other communities that homeschool, is to forge tighter bonds within the family unit. As my teacher and the only other female in the house (prior to the first sister), my mother and I developed a very tight bond.  I looked to her as my mother, of course, but also as any small child looks upon their teacher – I thought the sun rose and set with her.  She, in return, shared similar feelings about me.  I was the girl she longed for (secretly).  A wish fulfilled, she would say during the quiet moments we shared together. 

One of the quiet moments she insisted on, in a house full of chaos, was our “reading time”.  I was always allowed to stay up later than the boys.  This was something they always wanted to express their opposition to but rarely did because of the consequences of questioning an authority figure.  After all, I was younger than three of them!  Yet, the boys were all bedded at precisely 8:20 every night.  As I said, the reasons for my later bedtime were several.  For one, I helped my mother get everyone ready for bed.  She and I would give the smaller ones their snack and supervise their baths.  Then, I would dress the smaller ones for bed while she got the older boys in bed clothes and tucked them in. 

After the boys were in bed, mother would come to my room and climb into my bed.  She’d continue my “homeschooling” by reading to me for thirty minutes.  I have no doubt that, had it been allowed, she’d have done the same for the boys, but when my father was home, the routine was for him to go have “Bible study” with the boys (after they’d been put in bed).  When he wasn’t home, they were made to listen to inspirational and devotional tapes. 

Mother would always read one passage from the Bible and then put the Bible down and read to me from a collection of fictional novels she’d saved from her girlhood.  The books were always approved by my father, so they usually weren’t modern, children’s literature (I never read Judy Blume or Beverly Cleary, for example).  I was, however, exposed to Laura Ingalls Wilder, Jack Wild, Lewis Carroll, E.B. White and Patricia McLaughlin.  She didn’t just read to me, either.  She would expand upon what we were reading and talk to me about vocabulary, history, and the bigger theme of the books.  It was heaven.  (See! It wasn’t all bad.)

Still, the “formal” homeschooling was ruled by Bill Gothard’s ideas and (at the time) new trends and trials.  Because of this lack of rigor, when I left ATI and started looking at colleges, I was overwhelmed by what I didn’t know. 

Science.  I was hopelessly lost.  I was educated as a strict creationist.  We learned the scientific method – sort of. 

Step 1: Read the Bible. 
Step 2: Ask a question. 
Step 3: Form a hypothesis. 
Step 4: Read the Bible to find evidence to support your hypothesis. 
Step 5: Devise an experiment. 

You get the picture.  I’d been taught the anatomy of the human body in Wisdom Books but that was limited to coloring pictures of the organs and knowing, generally, what it was that they did.  I didn’t understand “how?” they did what they did or what the scientific reasons were.  If you asked those questions as an ATI kid, you were told “God made it that way” and shushed.  Evolution was strictly taboo and mocked incessantly.  

History.  I’d been given a neo-conservative, white-washed, Christian evangelical version of history.  My version mentioned nothing of the founding father’s deism or the Treaty of Tripoli.   I didn’t know that slavery was as bad or as rampant as it was.  I was taught that the civil war was a Godly war over state’s rights.  I wasn’t taught about Martin Luther King.  I knew about the Crusades, but I didn’t know about the Black Plague or pre-Biblical peoples.  Ancient cultures were briefly discussed and the caveat was always tossed in about how they couldn’t have existed in the times ’secularists’ claimed they did because there were no men on earth further back than about six thousand years ago.  Dinosaurs?  They walked with humans before the fall.

When I left and decided that I wanted to continue my education, I had a long row to hoe.  I was over the age of 18, by the time I decided I wanted to repair the damage my ATI education had caused, so I had to go through an adult school. I had a GED, but I needed refreshers in basic high school courses.  My math skills were exceptional (all thanks to my mom!).  My writing skills were so-so.  Reading comprehension was great.  History and science – the counsellor looked crestfallen as he told me the results of my evaluation.  I took two years of remedial courses through the adult school before I could take college placement exams. 

I know not all ATI kids come out the way I did.  Sadly, I know most of them come out worse!  They’re “educated” in only the barest sense of the word.  They’re educated in the same way a talking parrot is educated.  They can regurgitate.  Most ATI kids are horrible at advanced math.  They know how to balance a checkbook and “figure”, but unless they were being apprenticed for careers involving higher math, it wasn’t offered to them.  I know girls who went through the midwifery training that BG approves and to say their midwives is to say it using the 19th century understanding of the term.  They can deliver a baby, sure.  I think most of us could  if we had to.  They’re taught most of the skills that modern medicine would teach and certify a doula to provide.  They are not taught true anatomy/physiology classes.  It’s all practical experience. 

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Wisdom vs. Natural Inclinations -Seeing and responding to life’s situations from God’s frame of reference (Proverbs 9:10) ~ Bill Gothard
 

by RazingRuth

Bill Gothard wasn’t a great student.  He makes no effort to hide the fact that he flunked the first grade and barely passed the next eight grades.  From 1st to 8th grade, he was a lackluster student.  However, according to the legend, near the end of eighth grade, an older friend challenged him to read and memorize large portions of scripture.  In doing this, Bill Gothard (claims to have) found the key to unlocking his intelligence.  I’ll let his words speak for him.

“However, as he memorized and meditated on Scripture, Bill’s grades improved significantly—so much so that he graduated from high school a member of the National Honor Society. This direct correlation between his grades and consistency in memorizing and meditating on Scripture continued through college and graduate school.” – History of IBLP, Bill Gothard

At fifteen, Bill also noticed that some of his classmates weren’t paying attention to their instructors. This bothered him enough to meditate on their lack of attention.  Through thought and meditation, Bill realized that these boys were making “drastic choices that would have drastic consequences” (source: a taped lecture from 1993).   It was these experiences that led Bill Gotharrd to create the homeschooling program that we all know now as ATI/IBLP.

 
Before I get into how this worked in my childhood home, I would like to take a moment to ask a few questions (and answer them).

Q: Does Bill Gothard have children? 
A: No.

Q: Is Bill Gothard married?
A: No

Q: Had Bill Gothard spent a lot of time observing youth, prior to creating the homeschooling program?
A: Yes.  However, the youth he observed were admittedly troubled inner-city, heathen youth with multiple problems and, often, criminal records.

Q: Does Bill Gothard have a degree in education from a credentialed school?
A: No.  He has a BA in Biblical Studies and an MA in Christian Education from Wheaton College.  Presently, it holds all the necessary credentials for providing degrees in education.  In 1961, it did not.  In fact, by the 50’s, it was known as the most neo-conservative, evangelical university in the northern United States.
 
The homeschooling program I was raised in was created by a childless bachelor who took his educational ideals from mentoring troubled teens and applied them to families with a one size fits all mentality.
 
I was very young when the decision was made to homeschool.  As such, I can’t say that I know what my parents reasons were but I’m almost positive Mr. Gothard influence was key.  We lived in an area with nice schools and my mom had been a teacher.  Still, despite all of the stress heaped upon her, my mother was charged with homeschooling her children and she did it with as gracious a heart as she could muster.  Since she had a background in teaching math, we were some of the best educated children in that discipline, in our cohort.  She broke with the prescribed curriculum for math somewhere in the fourth grade and began teaching us her own.
 
ATI utilizes Wisdom Booklets.  These books can be used to provide education for a wide age range of children at the same time because of the way they’re formatted.  Every section is focused on a scripture from the Bible. Every child studies the same topic/scripture while the parent applies it to different disciplines (the law, medicine, language, etc.,.).  To keep it “grade level”, you use different worksheets or reviews.  But, yes, the question I get most often “Did you get the bankruptcy lecture?”, is answered with a resounding “Yessiree”.  I probably got the lecture three times over the course of my homeschool education.  The curriculum repeats itself every four years. 
 
One problem I saw was that there was no room for individuality within the ATI curriculum.  There’s no program designed for special needs children.  Even though the lessons are so basic (and so academically unrigorous that I can’t imagine anyone “falling behind”), there’s no remediation options.  If I missed something due to illness, it was just missed.  If you didn’t understand something, there were no academic consequences since the Wisdom Booklets don’t build upon anything academic.  It’s ironic, to me, that Mr. Gothard developed this program after watching kids zone out and fearing for the “consequences” of their inattention — there are no consequences, save what Gothard considers spiritual consequences or physical punishments — for not learning your ATI curriculum.  
 
To be continued…in part 10.

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