courtship

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 4: Growing Up

Apr 292010

The thing about training is that eventually, you grow up and exercise what you were taught. I was taught to think for myself, to stand up regardless of pressure, and in the end, that’s what I did.

The last half of my 16th year my parents spent drilling into me that I was a capable adult and ready for marriage. I went to visit my boyfriend after christmas and I think my parents fully expected a proposal even though (despite me being 16) we’d only been together since September. I was nervous, naturally. A hasty marriage was being pushed by my family while his were much less hurried. I was scared, because at 16, I interpreted this as there being something wrong…maybe they didn’t like me, maybe they didn’t want us in a relationship. Over the next few months I realized that this wasn’t the case, they just didn’t want to rush us.

My family refused to think that my initial fears were misinterpreted or that we had already resolved the situation. The summer of my 17th year was filled with long discussions about how I was wrong and nothing was resolved, even after I had told them it was.

This is the point in my life where I started thinking for myself, realizing how to solve conflict, and put what my parents had taught me into practice. Needless to say, it didn’t go over well.

Michelle Duggar to Accept “Mother of the Year” Award at Vision Forum’s “Triumph of Life” Baby Conference

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Apr 212010

“Conference attendees will get a powerful look into the way a large Christian family works together as a team in a successful project of national impact, where the goal of the family is to bless the broader culture with a love for Christ.”

by Vyckie

The Quiverfull folks at Vision Forum are gearing up for their Baby Conference: A Historic Family Summit on the Triumph of Life Over the Culture of Death to be held in San Antonio, Texas this coming July. According to conference promotional material:

As the world lauds barrenness for economic and personal convenience and marginalizes the value of our aging populace, we purpose to celebrate life and to explore a myriad of practical and theological issues that are pertinent to Christian families of the twenty-first century, such as: adoption, home birth, the coming cry for euthanasia on the horizon as our elderly generation increases, and the many blessings that come from raising children in the fear of the Lord.

One of the highlights of the Baby Conference will be a special “Ladies Tea Time” in which Michelle Duggar will be presented with a Mother of the Year award for “her heroic example to millions as a role model of Christian motherhood and her defense of life.”

As a former Quiverfull “mom of many” ~ I have to say that what Michelle modeled for me was an incredibly high standard of Christian motherhood.

She inspired me with a vision of what a wonderful testimony my own family could be as I gave over my reproductive life into the Lord’s capable hands and trusted in Him to strengthen and empower me to raise up the children He blessed me with to be dedicated, faithful, on-fire Christians willing and able to do mighty exploits in the ever-intensifying battle against the advancing forces of darkness in this sin-sick nation.

Michelle made the whole big-happy-homeschool-family-living-for-Jesus picture of submissive helpmeet and prolific motherhood seem not only incredibly attractive ~ but fairly straightforward, uncomplicated … and doable.

All it takes are some basic administrative skills: organization, time management, delegation … plus, a biblical child-training program … and character education ~ to be sure the children are also inspired to cooperate … um, what else? a piano teacher? Too bad we couldn’t afford ATI ~ but if that had been truly necessary, surely the Lord would have moved us to Texas and provided more money (a lot more money).

We’d need to have God’s blessing, of course ~ but not to worry: with our wholehearted dedication to the Lord and unwavering adherence to the principles which He was revealing to us through the Word of God ~ as long as we were in His will ~ God’s blessing was pretty much guaranteed.

Having God’s blessing meant that whatever we lacked in competency, ability, health, time, money, etc. ~ the Lord would make up for so long as we remained faithful to His calling.

Isn’t that what the verse promises, after all? Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them? So how could we go wrong? Surely, if Michelle could do it with her mega-family ~ I could do it with “only seven” arrows in our quiver.

The 49 Character Qualities of Ruth #16: Puberty

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Apr 142010

(Note: This is not a post about “sex” or purity. This is a post about how my journey into puberty occurred. I’ll get to the purity stuff later.)

Discretion vs. Simplemindedness – The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which could result in undesirable consequences (Proverbs 22:3) – Bill Gothard

by RazingRuth

My body started developing secondary sex traits very early. By the time I was ten, I had breast buds and needed a training bra. What might surprise some is the fact that my mother and father saw this and immediately set about taking me to the thrift store to find some training bras. Yes, much to my embarrassment, my father went along for the purchase. It was humiliating to have the entire family standing outside the fitting room while my mother handed bra after bra over the partition for me to try on. When I found one that fit, she loudly announced the size to my entire family so they could search the racks. It’s one of the subtle hypocrisies of my family: your body was supposed to be a highly personal, spiritual thing, but because of reasons I’ll state below, it wasn’t kept private.

I also started having body odor and a need to shave my armpits a year later. This was problematic because, unless you were a boy, there wasn’t room in the budget for antiperspirant or razors. I realized that I smelled gamey so I took to stealing my mother’s deodorant on the sly.

The razors were a bit more difficult. My father ran the boys’ lives like a prison warden. To get a new razor, they had to leave the used one on his sink. He would look it over and decide if it was dull enough to require a new one and then leave the new one in their plastic basket under the bathroom sink. They were in charge of their razors and since my father hated wasting money, they were encouraged to use them until it cut their faces from dullness. If they went through more than a certain quantity every month, it was discussed during family time.