by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. I John 4:1

Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Acts 20:30

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Galatians 5:1

The above passages warn us that not every movement that says it is following Christ’s teachings, actually is. How can we know the difference?

Jesus said “Ye shall know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16).” Galatians 5:22-23 says that out of the “liberty” spoken of in verse 1 of that chapter (quoted above), we should see the fruit of “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” If the way you and your family are being encouraged to live is a life of liberty, causing a growth of these qualities, then it is bearing good fruit.

This series asks a set of questions designed to help you determine whether following the Quiverfull movement is keeping you and your family in the liberty of Christ and bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

Do you feel guilt that you and your family could be doing better in living out the principles of godly living that are being presented to you as God’s best? Is it implied that in following these principles, you are part of a special group, called to higher things than other Christians? Do you ever feel dread or hesitation about what new biblical standards the Lord might reveal to you next, because the way you live now is already such a challenge? Do you ever find yourself putting up a “front” of family blessing and harmony for others to see? Have you seen individuals or families who fail to meet the standards, rejected and ostracized?

Here are some teachings or statements you may have heard in the Quiverfull movement:

“God has revealed to us the true, biblical model for godly homes and families. We dare to be different from ‘lukewarm’ Christians, rejecting worldly ways that are steeped in humanism.”

“So many other Christian couples are ‘planning’ their family size for the sake of their convenience, but God has not given us that option. He has called us to a life of faith and trust.”

“Your own home can become an outstanding example of how following biblical principles for godly family living will result in children who are wholeheartedly dedicated to serving the Lord in their own lives.”

“When we fulfill with excellence our high calling as wives, mothers and homemakers, we raise the standard of God’s truth to the nation.”

And here are some of the Scriptures that are emphasized:

“And Jesus said unto him, ‘No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.’” Luke 9:62

“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much, and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” Luke 16:10

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Phil. 4:13 (implying that if you are truly letting Christ strengthen you, you should be able to meet all these standards)

But is this the whole counsel of the Scriptures?

Those who follow the practices associated with the Quiverfull movement are led to believe that though other Christians might not do as they are doing, they themselves are responding to a higher calling of God, to a more biblical, deeper, truer Christianity that will defeat the devil and his temptations and result in great spiritual joy and fulfillment. There is an unspoken implication that those who do not do these things are less mature, less committed to God, or less holy than those who have received this higher calling.

As time goes on, families– especially the women– are encouraged to express this higher level of devotion through more and more new practices:

Focusing on homemaking is followed by baking your own bread, then by grinding your own wheat to bake that bread.

Welcoming many babies is followed by home birthing, then by home birthing with only the husband present.

Dressing more modestly is followed by wearing only dresses, then by lowering the hemlines of those dresses.

And on and on, as women strive to imitate one another in ever-higher standards, in a kind of spiritual one-upmanship to show just how devoted to Christ they can be.
But this competitive, perfectionistic spirit is not what Jesus or the apostles taught that following Christ was supposed to be about.

Hebrews 10:24 does say that we should “consider one another to provoke [spur on] to love and to good works,” but what are those good works? When Jesus said, “Be ye therefore perfect, as your Father which is in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48),” He was speaking of fullness or completeness of love. The context of the statement was, “love your enemies.” The word “perfect” in the original language is “telios,” which does not refer to a state of being flawless or without limitation, but instead refers to fullness of spiritual goodness– goodness which comes in not just loving those who love us, but in loving those who are against us, too. Love and good works go together and are a result of walking in the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23.

But a competitive, perfectionistic practice of Christianity is focused instead on actions related to living in this world– such as baking bread, wearing dresses, home birthing– all of which are forms of “Touch not, taste not, handle not,” which Paul calls “ordinances” or “rudiments of the world” which are “to perish with the using.” Colossians 2:20-23. Even such things as homeschooling and homemaking are ultimately lifestyle practices of this earthly life. “Biblical principles for godly living” as defined by the Quiverfull movement, actually means living life in terms of strict observance of rules that focus on our practices here on earth– and this is what Paul was talking about when he said that we could easily come into bondage to “weak and beggarly elements” if we lose track of the fundamentally spiritual nature of our Christian walk. Galatians 4:9.

Romans 14:17 says “The kingdom of God is not [about] meat and drink, but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” The Romans were focused on rules and observances regarding “holy” eating and drinking. Nowadays the tendency is to focus on rules and observances regarding other kinds of “holy” lifestyle practices– but the principle is the same. To seek to show devotion or holiness through such practices is to seek to be “made perfect by the flesh.” Galatians 3:3. But when we walk in the Spirit, when we live our lives in terms of simple love for God and others, this is the true biblical principle for godly living.

Paul finished his statements against fleshly perfectionism by warning against becoming “desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.” Galatians 5:26. “Provoking” or spurring one another on in a spirit of envy and vain glory (competitive seeking of empty glory) is the very definition of elitism.

Several times Paul did speak of the Christian walk using competition as a metaphor for the focused seeking of God, but none of those metaphors ever imply that Christians are to be competitive with one another regarding who can be more externally “holy” or who can live the most outwardly devoted lifestyle. Instead, we are to keep our eyes on the goal of knowing Christ. Philippians 3:14.

Jesus did speak of being faithful, of putting our hand to the plow and not looking back, but our faithfulness should be to Him and His Kingdom, not to agendas in a culture war or to lists of ever-stricter lifestyle practices. We can do “all things” through Christ who strengthens us– indeed, it is only in His strength that we can seek that fullness of love that He was speaking of when He said, “Be ye perfect.” But when Paul said “I can do all things through Christ,” he was talking about being strengthened to follow Him in whatever circumstances. He was not talking about making Herculean efforts to meet ever-increasing standards of fleshly performance which, let’s face it– no human being is capable of maintaining on a long-term basis without putting up some sort of front or pretence, for fear of being judged for not measuring up. The fruit of perfectionism is hypocrisy and pride, not love, joy or peace.

Nor does Jesus ever imply that there are some callings that are “higher” than others or some Christians who are more special to God than others. In fact, the words “higher calling” do not appear in the Scriptures at all. Philippians 3:14 says all Christians have a “high calling,” but that has to do with knowing Christ (v. 10), not with lists of self-sacrificial practices intended to show devotion. In fact, Galatians 5:12 speaks of people who focus on outward acts of devotion (in this case, circumcision) as wanting to “make a fair shew in the flesh.” Paul responds in verse 14 by saying, “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

In Matthew 20:1:16 Jesus tells a parable of a vineyard owner who went out at the beginning of the day to hire workers. He agreed with them on their day’s wage, and sent them into the vineyard. Then later that morning, and at noon, and again near the end of the day, he went back out and hired more workers. At the end of the day, those who had worked only one hour received the same wage as those who had worked all day. The workers who had worked all day were angry at this, thinking they should be paid more– but Jesus said the vineyard owner (who represented God) was not cheating any of the workers by giving them all the same reward that the first set had agreed to.  He is gracious to all and shows favoritism to no one. Acts 10:23, Romans 2:11.

For some Christians to think of themselves as more special than others is a form of spiritual pride. We are not in a competition against one another to see who is better or greater in the Kingdom of God. When the disciples came to Jesus in Matthew 18:1-5 and asked who was the greatest in the Kingdom, Jesus called a child to Him and said, “Whoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Children had no social standing, no place in any hierarchical structure of status, in Jesus’ day; and He calls us all to become as those children, not worrying about status– because it’s not about status. We are all saved by grace, as the gift of God, with no reason to boast– either before we become Christians, or in extra-special lifestyles after.

These teachings do not lead to liberty in Christ, nor do they bear good fruit. Standards of perfectionism based on elitism are characteristics of spiritually abusive religion– religion that brings pain and bondage. But Christ came (John 10:10) that we might have life, and have it to the full.

The other parts in this series, when read together with this one, make up a checklist for spiritual abuse within the Quiverfull movement. We encourage you to read them as well.

[Note: This article is intended for those readers who have chosen to accept the Bible as authoritative for faith and practice.  If you are not one of those readers, please be understanding of the intended audience and refrain from commenting on the assumptions on which it is based.]

Discuss this post on the NLQ forum. Comments are also open below.

Read all posts by Kristen Rosser / KR Wordgazer

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 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. I John 4:1

Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Acts 20:30

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”  Galatians 5:1

The above passages warn us that not every movement that says it is following Christ and His teachings, actually is.  How can we know the difference?

Jesus said “Ye shall know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16).”  Galatians 5:22-23 says that out of the “liberty” spoken of in verse 1 of that chapter (quoted above), we should see the fruit of “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”  If the way you and your family are being encouraged to live is a life of liberty, causing a growth of these qualities, then it is bearing good fruit.

This series asks a set of questions designed to help you determine whether following the Quiverfull movement is keeping you and your family in the liberty of Christ and bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

Does your group or beliefs have a high amount of control over how you live your life?   Is there pressure to conform to specific lifestyle choices?  Does your group or beliefs emphasize some kind of hierarchical authority structure?

Does your group present its specific teachings as self-evident and beyond all dispute?   Is questioning your teachers’ readings of the Scriptures equated with questioning God?

Here are some teachings or statements you may have heard in the Quiverfull movement:

“Lukewarm Christians don’t understand what it is to truly give yourself to God– to give Him your womb and let Him open or close it as He will.  ‘Christianity Lite’ is about serving the self, not God.”

“We dare to be different from traditional, pew-warmer Christians, and we form close associations with like-minded families who will support and uphold our values.”

“If this way of living seems harsh or unfair to you, don’t complain to me about it, because it’s not my idea– I’m just telling you what the scriptures plainly state. So if you don’t like it, take it up with God,  because it is really Him that you have an issue with– not me.”

And here are some of the Scriptures that are emphasized:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body.”  Ephesians 5:22-23.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3.

“I know thy works, that thou are neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.  So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” Revelation 3:15-16.

But is this the whole counsel of the Scriptures?

Quiverfull believers often insist that the movement is not spiritually abusive because unlike the common understanding of “cultic” movements, it does not have one central authority figure or centralized structure.  Instead, Quiverfull is a loosely associated collection of family patriarchies,  spreading their interpretations of the Bible through home-based magazines, tape ministries, seminars etc.  But a family hierarchy (husband-wife-children) is still a hierarchy, and the father’s authority within this hierarchy is often absolute.

Quiverfull believers will also often deny that there is any life-control in the movement, because in peripheral things– women wearing dresses, long hair and no makeup, as well as home schooling and home churching– some latitude and options are allowed.  However, the main teachings of the movement (“priestly” control of the home by fathers for whom children are a “quiver” of arrows raised by a submissive wife who sees herself as a willing “vessel” for as many children as God will send) are non-negotiable.  The result is known as “bounded choice.”  The illusion of freedom is present, but guilt and peer control– fear of disapproval and rejection– actually hold each individual to a narrow set of choices within strict boundaries said to have been set directly by God.  The word “lukewarm” is often used in this kind of peer control, to shame a Christian into a more “godly,” restrictive lifestyle.

Though Jesus spoke in Revelation 3:15-16 of those who are “lukewarm,” verse 17 goes on to define those who are called “lukewarm”:  “Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing. . . .”  These verses are too often used to refer to anyone who does not follow a particular set of practices that “prove” a Christian’s devotion or state of being “sold out” or “totally committed” to God.  But Jesus defined the “lukewarm” simply as those who were satisfied with their material goods and saw themselves as having no need of God.  He described the “blessed,” on the other hand, as those who were “poor in spirit” and who “hunger and thirst after righteousness.“  Matthew 5:3 & 6. Christ’s message was about humility, about recognizing our state of need– not about proving ourselves through self-sacrificial lifestyles.

Christ also said to the Pharisees, when they criticized him for eating with “publicans and sinners” — “Go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice.”  Matthew 9:13.  Jesus was being criticized by those who showed great devotion to God through sacrificial lifestyles, tithing even the smallest of herbs, building and decorating the tombs of the prophets, carefully observing the Jewish practices of cleanliness (Matthew 23).  But Christ was much more interested in a simple life of love– compassion for one another, for the social outcasts, the poor, the widows, and the downtrodden.   It is a mistake to define someone as “lukewarm” merely because they don’t live the way we have chosen to live.  From the Pharisees’ point of view, Jesus was the one who was “lukewarm”!  But he wanted their devotion to God to show in the mercy they walked in, not in the sacrificial lifestyles they prided themselves on.

Pride is also evident in a Bible teacher or preacher who claims that what he is teaching is self-evident and beyond dispute from the Scriptures.  James 3:13 says that true wisdom shows itself in “meekness,” and verse 17 says that the wisdom from above is “peaceable, gentle, easy to be intreated (willing to consider another point of view), full of mercy and good fruits. . . .”  And the Apostle Peter himself said that Paul’s writings contained things that were “hard to understand, in which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, to their own destruction (2 Peter 3:16).”  If Peter himself could admit that Paul’s writings were hard to understand, and that it was possible to “wrest” (wrestle) with the meaning of all the Scriptures, then how can any modern teacher, 2000 years or more removed from the writing of the passages and the understanding of the original listeners, claim that his or her reading is beyond dispute?  How can anyone be so arrogant as to claim that to argue with them is to argue with God?   The Apostles spoke many times of the kind of teacher who “exalts himself” in such a way as to bring the listener into bondage (II Corinthians 11:20) or who constrains others to make a “fair show in the flesh,” so that the teacher may receive glory (Galatians 6:12).

As for the passages about obedience of children and submission of wives (these passages also discuss the obedience of slaves), Paul makes it clear throughout his writings that he works within the social structures of the cultures in which he finds himself, “that I might by all means save some, and this I do for the gospel’s sake.”  I Corinthians 9:22-23.  In fact, in Titus 2:5-10 his reasons for encouraging wifely submission and the obedience of slaves are “that the word of God be not blasphemed,” and that “they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.”  Paul does not want domestic issues or social uprisings to distract from or damage the gospel message.  But what Paul is not teaching is a timeless, hierarchical authority structure in which husbands/fathers/slave owners have a “divine right” to rule.  The entire counsel of the Scriptures shows that hierarchy is not God’s perfect will, but a product of our fallen world.

Those who use Ephesians 5:22 to teach the subordination of wives to husbands forget that the verse just before it says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (v. 21).”  Those who use Ephesians 6:2-3 to enforce “honor thy father and mother. . . that it may be well with thee” as a threat that if their child doesn’t “honor” their father with complete self-abnegation to the father’s will, they will be cursed by God– they are forgetting that the very next verse admonishes, “fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (v. 4).”  The Lord’s nurture and admonition came through “taking upon him the form of a servant (Philippians 2:7),” not by insisting on his authority and on being served.   And slave owners are also told in the same passage in Ephesians that they are to “do the same things” to their slaves as their slaves are told to do to them.  Ephesians 6:9.

Christ said, “Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.  But it shall not be so among you. . . whoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.”  Matthew 20:26-27.   And Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”  Finally, going back to Matthew 23, we see the long diatribe of Christ against spiritual leaders who “bind heavy burdens, too grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders (v. 4),” who “love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues (v. 6).”  He tells us that those who want to be “masters” are forgetting that “One is your master, even Christ.”  And yet our Master himself did not come to be served, but to serve.

Mutual submission, yielding and deferring to one another, is the order of the kingdom of God.  Hierarchy and domination are the order of the sinful flesh.

Control through pressure, discouragement of questioning, and an emphasis on authority and hierarchy, are sure signs of a movement that comes from men and not from God.  I Corinthians 7:23 says,“You were bought with a price; be ye not the servants of men.”  Isn’t it time to turn away from bondage, and begin walking back into the liberty wherewith he has made us free?

The other parts in this series, when read together with this one, make up a checklist for spiritual abuse within the Quiverfull movement.  We encourage you to read them as well.

Discuss this post on the NLQ forum!

Read all posts by Kristen Rosser / KR Wordgazer

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'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich

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by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. I John 4:1

Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Acts 20:30

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Galatians 5:1

The above passages warn us that not every movement that says it is following Christ and His teachings, actually is. Even when there is sincere desire to follow Christ, the ways beliefs are practiced, instead of bringing healing and liberty, can bring pain and bondage. When religion hurts, it’s called “spiritual abuse.”

How can we tell the difference between healthy Christian practice and spiritual abuse?

Jesus said “Ye shall know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16).”

Galatians 5:22-23 says that out of the “liberty” spoken of in verse 1 of that chapter (quoted above), we should see the fruit of “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”

Are you being encouraged to live a life of liberty, full of the fruits of the Spirit? This series presents warning signs of spiritual abuse. One question to ask yourself is this:

Does your group or belief structure emphasize that members should keep themselves isolated or apart from the outside world, claiming it is spiritually contaminating?

Are you fearful of who you mix with and how you socialize? Do you feel free to visit other churches or groups? Do you have friends outside your own group?

Here are the kinds of warnings you might be hearing in the Quiverfull movement:

“Associating with unbelievers or with ‘lukewarm’ or ‘lite’ Christians will destroy your witness and ruin your testimony.”

“Only those who love the world pollute themselves with worldliness. Garbage in, garbage out.”

“Don’t let the ungodly poison your mind.”

“Guard your heart and your purity.”

The Quiverfull home can become a place of solitary confinement.

“True believers” are encouraged to seek “like-minded” fellowship with dedicated Christians who are raising their own families according to similar practices and will, by their example, uphold principles of godly family living and encourage you and your children to continue in the lifestyle. When no like-minded families are found within existing fellowships, Quiverfull families sometimes start their own home church ~ often consisting of only their immediate family members.

Quiverfull women are challenged to seek out “Titus 2 Women” who will teach and mentor them in living out the duties of Biblical Womanhood.

But for Quiverfull women who are doing “home everything” — that is work-at-home, homeschool, home birth, home church, etc. — isolation is almost a given and often the only adult conversation available consists of cyber-friends made through online discussion lists and forums designed for fellow “moms of many” to encourage and support one another.

Here are the Scriptures that are emphasized:

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” I Corinthians 15:33.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” Psalm 1:1

But is this the whole counsel of the Scriptures?

Here is what Jesus prayed for His disciples and for those who would “believe on me through their word”:

“I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth; thy word is truth. As thou has sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.” John 17:15-20. (emphasis added)

Jesus, who ate with tax collectors and prostitutes (and even with Pharisees! Luke 11:37), by no means intended by his words in John 17 that being “kept from the evil” meant isolating ourselves. Paul also said in I Corinthians 10 that he did not want the Corinthian church not to associate with “the world,” because Christians are specifically not meant to “go out of the world.” We are sent into the world to show the world the love of Christ.

In light of these, do Psalms 1:1 and I Corinthians 15:33 mean we are supposed to withdraw from the world and isolate ourselves from those who think differently than we do? Is this the love of Christ? Is this the freedom in which He has set us free?

The Scriptures teach rather that we are to be like the Samaritan who, when he saw someone who believed differently than he did, did not “pass by on the other side,” but acted like a true neighbor, getting himself dirty by pulling the injured man from the dirt, possibly even getting blood on his clothes. Luke 10:30-37.

What the Scriptures call Christians to is not isolation from others, but simply to choose not to become “unequally yoked” according to II Corinthians 6:14. The purpose of a yoke in ancient farming practices, was to help two animals to work as one, keeping pace with one another and moving in the exact same direction. The context of I Corinthians 15:33 and Psalms 1:1 are similar: in both cases the exhortation is against choosing to move in the same direction with someone who wants to take us in another direction than the one God would want to lead us in.

But what about Quiverfull? If the direction God wants to lead us in is the same direction that Quiverfull would lead us in, then the isolation Quiverfull endorses, should bear good fruit. Does it?

The fruit that isolation bears is not the fruit of love and compassion. Separation from others keeps our ears and hearts safe from having to listen to and hear about the lives, the hurts, the needs of other human beings for whom Christ died. We can become like the priest or Levite who saw the injured man and “passed by on the other side (Luke 10:31).”

Isolation can also destroy the fruit of meekness in our lives. James 3:13-17 says that a “wise man” walks in the “meekness of wisdom” which is “pure, peaceable, gentle and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” But when we cease listening to those who do not think exactly like us, we stop being able to be entreated. We can become proud and puffed up in our own knowledge and forget that “if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know (I Corinthians 8:1-2).” Listening to others, considering their point of view and being willing to be entreated by them, even when they are saying things we don’t agree with, is the fruit of meekness– the meekness of wisdom. When we separate ourselves from others, this fruit of the Spirit is hindered in our lives.

The other parts in this series, when read together with this one, make up a checklist for spiritual abuse within the Quiverfull movement. We encourage you to read them as well.

Discuss this post on the NLQ forum!

Read all posts by Kristen Rosser / KR Wordgazer

NLQ Recommends ...

'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich

‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

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