spare the rod spoil the child

I Am So Much More Than a Maiden of Virtue! Part 1 ~ I learned to keep my fear of hell to myself

Mar 092010

I grew up hearing about my grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ deep faith. Religiosity was, for my family, an important family heritage that was carefully handed down to us children. Christianity was the most important thing my parents and grandparents thought that they could pass down to us. On my dad’s side, my great grandfather was a minister. On my mom’s side, my grandparents served on the mission field in Latin America for a few years after they got married. There was no escaping religion—it was instilled in us from before we could grasp it.

I can’t really say much about how things got to be as “bad” as they did. I know my family has always been conservative, Bible-Believing, Calvinist Christians. But my parents weren’t homeschooled. When my grandparents were raising them, Michael and Debi Pearl had yet to write any books. There were no Botkin sisters for my mother to read when she was growing up. My family was conservative, yes. Fundamentalist, definitely. But not quiverfull, not homeschooling, and not rigidly Patriarchal. I have seen photographs of my grandmothers wearing pants, after all. I don’t know when it all changed. I don’t know why it changed. But it did.

No Laughing Matter: Michael Pearl & His Chicken Mock Critics

9 ~ Hot Topics 8 Responses »

Mar 032010

Michael Pearl has issued a scornful brush-off of critic’s charge that No Greater Joy Ministry’s “child-training” advice incited Kevin and Elizabeth Statz to beat their 9-year-old daughter, Lydia to death using quarter-inch plumbing supply line.

by Vyckie

I am nearly speechless with anger after reading a link postedby NLQ forum member, Asteli which highlights Michael Pearl’s “Laughing” Facebook note response to his critics.

“It has come to my attention that a vocal few are decrying our sensible application of the Biblical rod in training up our children. I laugh at my caustic critics, for our properly spanked and trained children grow to maturity in great peace and love.”

A vocal few? Who Is Speaking Out Against Abuse? ~ I’d say there are more than a few “caustic critics” who are outraged over the “application of the Biblical rod” which lead to the death of Lydia Shatz.

“Numbered in the millions, these kids become the models of self-control and discipline, highly educated and creative-entrepreneurs that pay the taxes your children will receive in entitlements. When your children finally find an honest mechanic or a trustworthy homebuilder, it will be one of ours. When your children apply for a job it will be at a company our children founded. When they go to a doctor, it will be one of our Christian children that heals them with cutting edge innovation. When your adult kids go for therapy it will be one of our kids-become-psychologist that directs them to the couch and challenges them to release their self-loathing and embrace hope for a better tomorrow.”

Numbered in the millions ~ that’s a terrifying thought ~ but it is true that No Greater Joy Ministries is a 1.5 million dollar a year business. If no one was buying, reading, and implementing the Pearl’s potentially-deadly child training advice, we could laugh right back at him ~ but as it stands, this is no laughing matter.

The 49 Character Qualities of Ruth #8

NLQ Stories, Patriarchy Across Cultures by Tapati 6 Responses »

Feb 272010

Security vs. Anxiety -Structuring my life around that which is eternal and cannot be destroyed or taken away (John 6:27) – Bill Gothard

by RazingRuth

(Note from Ruth: This chapter is about my experience and my life. This is not intended to represent any family but my own or any childhood but my own. I fully realize that the adults involved made choices that were, even if influenced by ATI discipline strategies, in fact, choices. Not all ATI families utilize the same strategies or would implement them in the same manner. In addition, I am not going to name, even in pseudonym, the brothers who perpetuated the abuses I speak of here. They were children at the time these things happened and just as much victims of the circumstances as was I. I’ve also had my therapist give me input on writing this portion of the story.)

This chapter of my story will be a little different than the other chapters. Until now, the posts have been chronological in nature rather than addressing a subject matter or topic. In this chapter, I want to talk about abuse.

I’ve received e-mails and comments from people asking if certain ATI/Gothard teachings led to abuse in my family. The answer is “Absolutely.” I’m sure that many belief systems or methods of child rearing can be distorted and twisted into a system of abuse, but Gothardism (as I’ll call it) seemed to be particularly adaptable. The patriarchy system is another potentially misused ideal.

Before we were born, my mother followed the unique Gothard admonition to read the Bible to us in utero. This is what he calls “PBT” (pre-birth training). The recommendation stands that the mother read to the unborn for at least thirty minutes a day. Gothard believes that the unborn can hear the scripture in the womb and will absorb the scripture much as they absorb the nutrients passed from the placenta, through the umbilical cord.

He also recommends reading scripture to the newborn and having scripture be the first words they hear. In my family, this was taken to the extreme. Most of us were homebirthed. When we were born, my father demanded that his voice be the first we hear and the first thing he said to each of us was from 1 Peter 1:14, 15.

“¹⁴As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;”

I wasn’t blanket trained – that would become commonplace in ATI families later. I was, however, from birth, forced to spend one hour per day listening to a recording of the Bible. In early infancy, this was usually done during my time in the wind-up swing, while mom cleaned or did other things for my brothers.