by Vyckie Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend? I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is Full post …
Tag: spiritual abuse
RE: Carri & Benaiah Chmielewski ~ I am sickened and mortified
June 22, 2009
by Vyckie Through the Free Jinger forums, I was recently introduced to a blog by a quiverfull woman named Carrie who holds to a lot of the same lifestyle beliefs which our family subscribed to back in our “quivering days.” I was immediately interested because at the time that I first started reading her blog, Carrie was overdue with twins (she thought) ~ planning an unassisted home birth. This so reminded me of my own experience ~ with Hazelle (whom I attempted to have at home after 3 c-sections), Andrew (who was born at home Full post …
No-Win Scenario #3 ~ Women can’t "have it all" but QF women can do it all
June 11, 2009
Me ~ Feb. 2007. Too exhausted to get out of bed ~ still, the work had to be done … There’s quite a discussion about feminism going on over on the NLQ forums ~ and it’s got me thinking about another no-win situation for Quiverfull moms. As a faithful Proverbs 31 woman of God, I was very concerned about my reputation ~ not for the sake of what people thought about *me,* of course ~ because, you know ~ I was very careful not to seek the “approval of men rather than God.” No ~ Full post …
No-Win Scenario #2 ~ If you stay you lose, if you leave you lose ~ No Winning Allowed!
May 30, 2009
by Arietty The experience of being in a No Win Scenario is a very familiar one to me. A decade after my divorce I still find myself smack up against that in certain conversations. While a marriage to an abuser is replete with such scenes (they rapidly become normal), it’s the big leap of leaving where it angered me the most. I mean, I’ve left, why do I have to put up with this STILL? It’s like after you have a baby and they suddenly want to give you stitches.. haven’t you been through enough? Full post …
No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority
May 23, 2009
by Vyckie As a convinced “Proverbs 31 woman” ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even “serving” my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God’s revealed Word). So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband’s (often incompetent and wrong-headed) Full post …
Santa vs. Satan
May 1, 2009
by Laura When I was growing up, my moms worked craft shows to support us kids. They often worked right through Christmas Eve and so we never celebrated Christmas actually on Dec. 25. We would usually have our Christmas celebration in the second week of January. That way my moms could take advantage of the awesome after Christmas sales available back then. It took the pressure off and I always felt like someone special when I told my friends that WE were celebrating Christmas on January 10th or what ever it was. The date was Full post …
We didn’t want to be BALANCED
April 13, 2009
by Vyckie Me & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord. Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be “balance” ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we’ve gone from “one extreme to the other.” Part of the reason I’m writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist Full post …
We mustn’t get ANGRY
April 5, 2009
by Vyckie “Just SMILE, okay?” This photo was taken on my 18th anniversary before church. Warren was in a terrible mood that morning ~ and all I wanted was to get family pictures taken which made us all look like such a happy family. It’s like the more unhappy we were, the more determined I was to put on a good face and show the world how exceedingly happy we were. Ack. Okay ~ I’m trying to work on writing the next installment of my story ~ but now I’m distracted with another topic ~ Full post …
Michelle says, Never enough babies!
