Tag: The Tale of a Passionate Housewife Desperate for God

It’s Complicated: Why It Wasn’t as Obvious as It Seems Like It Should Have Been

November 30, 2009

by Journey One thing I struggle with, as I painfully write some of the facts of my QF Patriarchal Marriage, is that the abuse wasn’t as obvious as you might think. I’d venture to say that 99.9% of the people we were around had no clue. I always get a kick out of how most patriarchy supporters speak up so quickly about how they are “opposed to abuse.” Are they really? Abuse always seems so stark, so obviously abusive, when you *read* about it, but in real life? Generally, not so much. For example, Mark’s Full post …

“Go to Oregon and build an ark”

November 17, 2009

by Journey Mark said we were going to move to Oregon.  I didn’t want to move to Oregon (I hated the rain), and I told him so, but that didn’t matter.  He had heard from God.  More specifically, he had heard God tell him to, “Go to Oregon and build an ark.”  What that meant, we did not know, but Mark had heard it quite clearly.  I wasn’t about to argue with God.  The strange thing was that Mark regularly mocked people who “heard from God” about things.  He felt that spiritual gifts were generally abused, Full post …

Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 4

November 5, 2009

by Journey When I shut off my brain and became willing to do whatever Mark said, he was delighted. Absolutely delighted. And everything changed. Everything. The first thing he did was give me a list on how I was to clean the bathroom. I had daily chores and weekly chores from him, down to minute details. I remember the first day I followed his list. I was humiliated. It was as if I was a child again and he was the parent. I told him that, too (in a humbled and submissive way, of course) Full post …

Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 3

November 5, 2009

by Journey Another problem, a major problem, but one that I felt so guilty for, was that my husband was seeing another woman, and that woman was the Bible. Mark was obsessed with the Bible. I remember feeling so guilty for hating the Bible because, you know, a good Christian shouldn’t hate the Bible, right? Here I was, at Bible College, and casting dirty looks at the Bible. I felt like it was no different from him taking a lover, or being an addict, because he would read it non-stop. He didn’t want to eat Full post …

Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 2

November 2, 2009

by Journey When we got back from our honeymoon, it was so exciting to set up our new apartment on our Bible College campus. The “married dorms” seemed so big and grown-up, and I put those thoughts about our honeymoon behind me…until Mark told me the news that “God” had told him I needed to give away my car. He said were going to be a one-car couple, and that one car was going to be his old van. This was brand new news to me. I was shocked. What? I tried to bargain with Full post …

Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 1

November 2, 2009

by Journey The overt abuse began the day we got married. The wedding was wonderful. I was so excited, so happy. As we drove away to our honeymoon, two Bible College students having just pledged to the Lord their love for one another, I had stars in my eyes. Then my new husband reached over and put his hand on my breast. Not fondling, not foreplay, just putting it there firmly, eyes still on the road, much like a robot. I left it there for a few seconds, stunned, and then tried to gently push Full post …