Grandpa holding Lakshmana
by Tapati
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don’t tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof –The Undisputed Truth, in Smiling Faces Sometimes
Aunt Gin had a serious look on her face and I thought, “Uh oh. What now?”
“I know your mom talked to you about your grandpa,” she began.
Oh no. I knew where this was going. Mom had talked to me but I had tried to forget what she’d said. I just assumed it was more of her drama. It couldn’t be true.
“Maybe you didn’t believe her,” she continued. “I know you don’t always get along. But I can tell you that everything she told you the other day is true. From the day your grandpa came to live with us he tried to get us to have sex with him.”
The ugly words came spilling out and I wanted to stop up my ears. I couldn’t match these words with the grandpa I knew. I couldn’t imagine him ever doing such a thing. He’d never done anything to me, that I knew for sure.
As if reading my mind, Aunt Gin continued, “We felt he’d never do anything to you because he thought of you as his granddaughter from the beginning.”
“So then why,” I thought, “are you both telling me?” I remembered the pictures of Grandpa in the bathtub with me back when I was a toddler. Why would mom let those pictures be taken, then? Why would she chance leaving me alone with him, if all of this is true?
“Even now, if he goes to give me a kiss he tries to give me tongue,” she continued, planting that nauseating image in my head for all time. This couldn’t be happening, these things couldn’t be true. Not my beloved grandpa!
Michelle says, Never enough babies!
Let’s Talk About “Unconditional Love”
I am hoping to gather input from all perspectives:
Believers ~ what is unconditional love? Please explain the concept and its specific application in cases in which someone is getting hurt ~ whether physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Unbelievers ~ is “unconditional love” strictly a religious ideal? Is there a secular version of unconditional love? How does unconditional love play out in practicality?
What about situations where the abuser is a close family member ~ say, a grandparent, parent, spouse, sibling or child? How does one show unconditional love for a person who hurts their own relatives?
I’d like to get the discussion started on this note: I used to believe wholeheartedly in unconditional “Agape” love ~ but now I’m not so sure. To quote one of my favorite skeptics (Uncle Ron ~ who once wrote to me at length on this topic):
“Unconditional love is good for babies perhaps, but not for adults who aspire to reason and responsibility.”
Whatever “Unconditional Love” is, I am now convinced it does not mean indiscriminate trust or naked vulnerability.
What are your thoughts?